IELTS 12 Test 8 Task1: Electricity is produced by geothermal energy

Topic: The diagram below shows how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity.

**Picture is in the end of this article.**

This diagram illustrates how geothermal energy is transformed into electricity.

There are in general five steps in this process. It is clear that cold water is pumped down into the ground in the beginning and passes through an area of hot rocks. After that, the water becomes hot water and is pumped up to the generator to generate power at the last step.

In the first stage, cold water is accumulated in order to pumped down into the ground of 4.5km depth where is named injection well. Then the water goes through a geothermal zone which is filled with hot rock and later water gathers in the production well. At this point, the cold water turns hot.

After the third stage in the production well, the hot water is pumped up to the condenser on the ground. The steam is produced after the condensation inside the condenser and it pushes the turbine in order to generate the electricity. (158 words)

Thanks everyone who takes time to help me!

Ps. I don't know if there are other good advice to replace these two: pump up and down (the water)
Also I wasn't confident about this sentence: ... into the ground of 4.5km depth where is named injection well.

Highly appreciated who provides suggestions!

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  IELTS12T8process.png
  

Things to do is to paraphrase the rubric. Here you are being tested on how good you paraphrase the question. In any case, a good IELTS report consists of an overview. This overview is written not only to present the main trend, differences, and/ or stages, but also to summary the details you have presented in the body paragraph. For this essay, I do not see you do so. If you write no overview, then your score will be a 5 in Task Achievement.

When it comes to Coherence and Cohesion, some inappropriate cohesive devices are seen in this report. You need to pay particular attention to cohesive ones. However, both grammar and vocabulary are good enough for those wanting to score a 6 or 7 in these two sections.

Hope this helps you :D

Eddy Suaib, English Studio Indonesia, IELTS Kampung Inggris Pare Kediri

Thanks Eddy!

Actually there were in total four paragraphs and I accidentally made the first on in bold letter:
THIS DIAGRAM ILLUSTRATES HOW GEOTHERMAL ENERGY IS TRANSFORMED INTO ELECTRICITY.

So my overview is this paragraphs:
There are in general five steps in this process. It is clear....

Does is consider as an overview? Is it necessary to write down the word overall?

Thanks !