The things we learn from our friends are more important than what we learn from our family

Independent Writing Task for TOEFL iBT
Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The things we learn from our friends are more important than what we learn from our family.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

For some people, absorbing an abundance of learning from their own friends is very significant as they assume that there will be a lot of problem-solving gained. The others, however, prefer to get this kind of issue from family belonging to since they suppose that it is more important. In my own perspective then, I do stand for the first idea due to the fact that based on my experience, I attempt more cases inspiring me when I am interacting with several persons getting a friend in me.

Basically, I could not deny that family of mine did deliver much knowledge as the foundation so that I can live this life in a good way. When I was a kid, for instance, my parents taught me sharing concept, especially when I was getting along with surrounding, not to mention siblings. That I am not alone in this world so I am supposed to have an empathy sense with other people, is what I learned. This term nevertheless gradually decreased regarding the quality time to time as I have grown up.

Recently, I have been used to spend days outside rather than inside my home. I have blended in with a wider scope of interaction and I have fit in with various types of people. Diversity then gives me numerous experiences in terms of the way I behave and handle certain matters faced.

Moreover, getting inspired from my friends, particularly the peers, is more realistic because they are in the similar circumstance to me. It is more adequate when I have to compare to my condition and my friends indeed understand more about my problem shared. This situation hence contributes a lot to my life.

All in all, it is unavoidable that family circle has a main role to teach about real life for some extents, specifically in early ages. Thus, I believe for a typical person like me, learning can be adapted more from friends.

Basically, I could notCANNOT deny that family of mine did deliverHAD DELIVERED much knowledge (...) so that I can live this life in a good way.I CAN LIVE IN A GOOD WAY NOW

Recently, I have beenGET used to spend days ...

Hi Lina, I believe this is the first time I'm going to review one of your essays and I hope this is just the start of a good partnership, I can assure you, you can rely on us for help and assistance in your writing projects and should you have anything at all, we will be here for you.

Having said that, I would like to share, in line with this particular prompt, that friends and the people around us are part of who we are and what we will become, we learn lessons from them, from everybody that we talk to, people on the street, on the bus, by the cafeteria and pretty much everywhere, we learn from them, it doesn't matter if it's a big lesson to learn or something that will make us powerful, this are lessons that will help shape us to become a good person.

Now, as I review your essay, I must say, you started out quiet strong and this is supported by the succeeding paragraphs, however, the last paragraph did not really deliver, having said that, please find my suggestions below;

- All inOver all, it is unavoidableproven that our family circle has a mainmajor role to teach us about real life for ...
Thus, I believe that for a typical person like me, further learning can be adapted more from friends.

There you have it Lina, I hope the corrections above are helpful.