Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


[TOEFL]Do you think classmates or colleagues should work on projects in person or by e-mai



cshcara 2 / 4  
Feb 3, 2014   #1
Do you think classmates or colleagues should work on projects in person or by e-mails. Why?

When it comes to the question whether classmates or colleagues should work on projects in person or by email, I am of the view that wok in person is preferred because this means help to achieve a good communication.

Firstly, team members may have different views and they need to reach a union opinion efficiently. Obviously, discussion face to face in a meeting is much better than by emails. An experiment conducted by the Beijing University asked two groups of people to discuss the budget of an activity. The first group was asked to discuss in person, while the second group was asked to discuss by email. The result shows that the 1st group used 30 minutes to reach the agreement on the budget, while it takes 30 hours for the later one. The similar experiment done by other scientist show the same result that people can reach an agreement quickly if they could talk to each other.

Secondly, work in person can indirectly improve the quality and the efficiency of the project because there will be less conflicts or fight amongst the team members. Writing an email for an informal matter will make that matter looks official, therefore people who receives the email may feel nervous or maybe feel offended by the words in writing. While if the same words are expressed in talking, the counterparty will feel more relaxed since their response will not be recorded and they will not misunderstand the informal discussion to an official claim. Therefore, less misunderstanding leads to less conflicts and fights, and enhance the communication amongst the team members.

Admittedly, sometimes we have to use emails if the team members are not located in the same place. Although emails are not convenient for the work but it is better than none. Since it is a classroom or compus projects, there is few possibility that the project members are located in different areas.

While we should realize that in a project, there are numerous coordination works are required, if each opinion is communicated via email, there will be hundreds or thousands of emails there that we know this is not a good experience. In conclusion, I prefer the project members to work in person rather them by email because work in person will be more efficient.

Pahan 1 / 1824  
Feb 3, 2014   #2
I don't say this is a bad introduction. It doesn't have any grammar issues and it shows your proficiency in English. However, you may have to expand on this intro a little bit to go for a good score. Follow this structure for your intro;
OP cshcara 2 / 4  
Feb 3, 2014   #3
Pahan

Thank you. I modified according to the suggestion.

When it comes to the debate whether classmates or colleagues should work on projects in person or by email, some people believe email is better because it records all the discussions and it is convenivent for everyone's time, while the others argues that work by email is time wasting and low efficiency. I am of the view that wok in person is preferred because this means help to achieve a good communication.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Feb 3, 2014   #4
When it comes to the debate whether classmates or colleagues should work on projects in person or by email, some people believe email is better because it records all the discussions and it is convenivent for everyone's time, while the others argues that work by email is time wasting and low efficiency.

This sentence is a bit too long. I'd like to advise you not to lengthen your sentences as they tend to get you carried away at the end. Also, it's nicer if you open your essay with a good hook (this is not mandatory, but it would help you impress the examiner) The hook should be an interesting sentence that is relevant to your topic and capable of proividing a good entrance to your essay. For example;

Today it is very common that students are required to work on group projects as a part of their curriculum. (your hook)
Some people believe that it is best for the students to meet in person to complete such projects. However, some others view that it is not really necessary and the students can handle the same task via e-mails.(your background)

In my personal view, I believe meeting in person to work on group projects has many advantages over doing this task via e-mails.
(your opinion)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Feb 4, 2014   #5
HI..,

I enjoy reading your essay. However, these are few points to share:

discussion face to face

face to face here modifies discussion as its noun. so the phrase should be face-to-face discussion

The similar experiment done by other scientistS showS

few possibility

"FEW" as determiner here should be followed by plural noun. Word suggest few possibilities

there are numerous coordination works are required

this sentence contains two verbs (tobe), so omit the last one.

Thanks.


Home / Writing Feedback / [TOEFL]Do you think classmates or colleagues should work on projects in person or by e-mai
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳