1 introduction, 2 body paragraphs for more details, and 1 conclusion.
In the contemporary society, the number of all types of schools even including colleges and universities have significantly increased from the past. People believe this is happening because most of them have realized how important an early education is for their children. Schools are considered to be good places for children to learn creative and new knowledge, and build relationships with others. As what was just said, there are a variety of good reasons for attending schools. Among those reasons, I would like to point out two greatest advantages of schools that can be offered to many individuals, not only just children. They are amazing places to improve your interpersonal skills and to acquire jobs through learning practical or basic academic education.
First of all, it is an undeniable fact that schools are perfect institutions for people including children to build strong relationships with others. They are given lots of opportunities to meet new individuals with different thoughts or mindsets as they enter their class rooms. This is really important since interpersonal skills can be improved and thereby students are able to understand and get a better perception of how others think about a particular topic. For example, lots of people probably have experienced a number of interactive class activities usually started by their teachers or instructors. Basically all of them are recommended to form a group and accomplish a given task with others. From this exercise, people will become aware of how to efficiently perform a team work. Some of them might even gain invaluable benefits such as leadership skills.
Secondly, parents send their children to schools simply for basic academic education. Schools are known for their generous helping in terms of teaching students about various subjects such as mathematics or history and discovering their talents early in their childhood. If a student shows a great talent at drawing, arts, or designs in an elementary school. He is likely to become a great artist or possibly apply for jobs that are deeply associated with subjects in which he is really interested. Schools are not only good because of those but also teach them practically; therefore, they can start earning money as quick as possible.
To sum up, schools are integral part of people' life because interpersonal skills can be significantly enhanced there and basic education can support someone early in their childhood to discover their true talents. What matters the most, however, is the amount of effort each student put into their tasks in order to succeed.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Rick, you have shown a very good understanding of the prompt that was given. The essay you presented followed the format to the letter and in the process, you achieved a well discussed and presented written piece. However, there are a number of grammatical errors present that should be addressed in order to beef up the presentation of the work.
In the contemporary society, the number of all types of schools even including , colleges a...
Schools are considered to be good places for children to learn ...
As what was just said, there THERE are a variety of good ...
Among those reasons, I would like to point out THE two greatest advantages of schools that can be offered to many individuals, not only just children...
... for people , including children ...
... be improved and thereby SO THAT students are able to understand and get GAIN a better perception of how others think about a particular topic .
... interactive class activities usually caused TAUGHT by their teachers or instructors. Basically all of them are recommended THE STUDENTS ARE ENCOURAGED to form a group ...
From this exercise, people will become aware of how to efficiently perform AS a team work .
... gain in valuable benefits ...
... to schools simply for basic academic education. Schools are known for their generous helping in terms ...
... those but also teach them practically PRACTICAL LESSONS THAT CAN BE USED IN EVERYDAY LIFE; ...
... schools are AN integral part of people'S life LIVES because interpersonal ...
... and basic education can support HELP someone early in their childhood to discover their true talents.
... however, IS the amount ... each of student putS into their ...
Hi Rick, I would like to share a few insights for your essay.
Right of the bat, I must say that you started quiet strong in this essay, you made sure that you cover all the basis of essay writing, the introduction, the body and the conclusion, this is a very strategic writing approach.
However, the succeeding paragraphs, the 3rd and the conclusion is not as strong as it started, having said that, below are a few suggestions.
There yo have it Rick, overall, it is a well managed essay and a little revision will definitely make it better.
I have always wondered how to properly use the verb "consider" but now I feel more confident with it.
But what is the need for replacing "invaluable" with "valuable"? Maybe I should do some researches of those two words in detail.
Thank you for your feedback again, Holt!
Hello again, justivy03!
"However, the succeeding paragraphs, the 3rd and the conclusion is not as strong as it started, having said that, below are a few suggestions."
=> Yes, I must admit to that. Mostly I have spent my time practicing to build better introductions and body paragraphs so the conclusion part is hardly my specialty. At some point after finishing an introduction and two body paragraphs, I normally have no idea of how to continue and what to write at the very end in the conclusion. Perhaps I need to make my focus last just a little bit longer until an essay reaches its end.
Anyway, thank you for correcting errors in this essay. Your feedback really reinforces the expression of my ideas in writings.
