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IELTS TASK 2: I think it is worth being a celebrity in spite of the problems


yirunli 7 / 17  
Jul 9, 2013   #1
Being a celebrity - such as a famous file star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits.
Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?


Nowadays, with the development of media, it is convenient to seek out the information about those celebrities; for instance, a famous movie star died due to drugs. We often hear that some celebrities make troubles which usually lead to serious consequences, but being a celebrity does bring them benefits such as fame or money. In my opinion, being a celebrity brings more benefits than problems.

Firstly, being a celebrity means a satisfying and successful life. As is known to all, a famous person can earn a good living while most people are hankering for a wealthy lifestyle. In addition, celebrities are not only wealthy but also powerful in the communities. They are respected by the common people as their outstanding and professional performance. For example, a great football player has appealed to most of his fans to save children from hunger. Furthermore, it is easy for a celebrity to get a promotion and development on his career or business, because people regard him as a rich trusty person.

On the other hand, there are some problems to be a celebrity such as privacy leak, unhealthy lifestyle and lack of freedom. A celebrity cannot avoid these problems as long as he is popular. Once he can get rid of these, he is no longer famous and loses all the benefits.

To sum up, I think it is worth being a celebrity in spite of the problems. If a celebrity has enough patience and tolerance, finally he will figure out a way to get over those problems, and he can still keep the benefits. Thus, being a celebrity brings more benefits than problems.
dumi 1 / 6,924 1592  
Jul 9, 2013   #2
They are respected by the common people asfor their outstanding and professional performances

Furthermore, it is easy for a celebrity to get a promotion and development on his career or business, because people regard him as a rich trusty person.

... this sentence has a few issues. First, why you talk about promotions? Celebrities generally work freelance and it is demand that they seek to acquire in their career progression. You get promotions when you work for a company. I also don't see much logic in this sentence. Also note - the right word is "trustworthy" and not trusty.

I suggest you to limit to one reason per body para and give a good example to that reason.
gmad06 20 / 151 55  
Jul 10, 2013   #3
Introduction is confusing and unbalanced.You were mentioning some examples of problems being a celebrity
and nothing on its benefits. Yet you still agree that being a celebrity brings more benefits
.

Aside from grammar, first body is quite okay except the example given. I don't think its relevant to your statement.

They are respected by the common people as their outstanding and professional performance. For example, a great football player has appealed to most of his fans to save children from hunger.

you were talking about performance on the statement while being participative in charitable activities in your example

Second body needs to be expanded.

Hope this helps...


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