Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


IELTS Task 1: Three decades of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, between 1980 and 2010.



tiaDS 73 / 222  
Feb 3, 2014   #1
The graph below presents the information about Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest in Brooklyn's Coney Island, USA.

The bar chart illustrates the winner record of Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest which is held every 4th of July in Brooklyn's Coney Island, USA during 3 decades, between 1980 and 2010.

Generally, there are four countries; USA, Japan, Mexico and Germany which were being winner. Moreover, American and Japanese males were dominance as the winners.

First of all, from the first to the third period American males won the contest, with about 9 to 10 hot dogs and buns eaten, while in the 1983 Mexican males succeeded to be the winner, with approximately 19 hot dogs and buns eaten. Between 1985 and 1995, American contestants presenting the overall growth in numbers of hot dogs and buns eaten had rebounded on the podium.

Take closer look, between 1997 and 1998 Japanese males had the golden medal, while in the next year American men hold the medal with 20 hot dogs and buns eaten. From 2000 onward Japanese males had won, with 53.75 hot dogs and buns eaten which was the first peak. From 2007 to 2010 American men became the winner and hold the second peak with 68 hot dogs and buns eaten in 2009.

Interestingly, between 1983 and 1984 a Mexican only ate nearly 20 hot dogs, while Birgit Felden, a German woman, consumed 9 hot dogs. Takeru Kobayashi, Japanese, who reigned Nathan's championship for six years running defeated Prior Chestnut, while an American, who ate 68 hot dogs and buns in 15 minutes held Joey Chestnut in 2009


  • from_wikipedia.png


gollu 3 / 3  
Feb 3, 2014   #2
Whereas, Birgit Felden and German woman consumed 9 hot dogs annually.
dumi 1 / 6795  
Feb 4, 2014   #3
there are four countries; USA, Japan, Mexico and Germany

This is not a trend or a major observation. So, this should have gone into the introduction. Overview is about the main trends and observations, but without details.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Feb 4, 2014   #4
Hi tiaDS...

Takeru Kobayashi, Japanese, who reigned Nathan's championship for six years running defeated Prior Chestnut, while an American, who ate 68 hot dogs and buns in 15 minutes held Joey Chestnut in 2009

In 2009 Joey Chestnut from US, who consumed 68 hot dogs and burns in 15 minutes, beat the 6-year record holder from Japan, Takeru Kobayashi.

American men became the winner

American men declared the winner of this contest

Japanese males had the golden medal, while in the next year American men hold the medal

No information presenting this phrase:hold the medal

From 2000 onward Japanese males had won, with 53.75 hot dogs and buns eaten which was the first peak.

Could please re-write this ?

Take closer look, between..

take a closer look between...

.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Three decades of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, between 1980 and 2010.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳