The three different charts present the percentage of four different categories of foods utilized

the prompt says: The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to two countries; China and India

statistics of utilized foods over the world in 2008

The three different charts illustrate the percentage of four different categories of foods utilized over the globe in 2008, especially the comparison between China and India. Overall, it is clear that in China, India and the world, the vast majority of food consumed was processed food. By contrast, nuts and seeds are the lowest consumption.

With the regard to the most prevalent foods, approximately 41% of processed food in the world was utilized, compared to about 34% and 39%, respectively in China and India. In the planet, the consumption of vegetables and fruits gained 29%. The figure of vegetables and fruits in India occupied 23% while the number of fruits and vegetables represented more 9% in China, nearly 32%

The consumption of animal food stood at 15% in China. The world and India indicated the virtually identical level of use of animal food, between 26% and 27% successively. While people in the world utilized slight the figure of nuts and seeds, in the region of 4%, Chinese and Indian customers used considerably the number of nuts and seeds, at 19% and 11%, in turn.

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Hi @Maitouyen282


you may find another way to compare the percentage of each figures, not just by above. Since i found that almost all of comparisons you made was like above.

For example
People in the world utilized slight the figure of nuts and seeds, in the region of 4%, which was almost fourfold larger of nuts and seeds....

you may vary other style of comparison rather than just straightly mentioned the number of figures orderly.

hope it helps you

@Holt
Can you come here and give me a score about my work?

To, you could have written a better overview by indicating the types of food products that were going to be compared along with stating the countries that were to be used in the comparison. The last sentence in your opening statement should have represented your concluding statement instead because that could have been a pretty effective summary of the overall report. With a total of 184 words, I would have to say that this is one of your better developed essays. Again, it is better developed, but still has some problems with regards to TA and GRA issues. I explained the TA situation above while the GRA, comes from the use of wrong descriptions in your essay such as the term "successively" when you should have said "respectively". The improvement in your presentation and discussion style also comes with an improvement in your possible score. This could get a score as high as 5 in an actual test. Depending upon the smaller considerations for the final score. Good work though. I hope to see continued improvement over the coming days.

@Holt
Hi! If I want to gain this essay 7.0, what I should do?
Can you give me more words to make my essay is not mechanical and gain higher score?

To, there is no secret to achieving a score of 7 in the IELTS. That is a score that can only be achieved if you increase your understanding and knowledge of the English language. If you are focusing on English learning outside of the regular practice tests, such as watching English programs, reading English material, and familiarizing yourself with the English vocabulary either through dictionary reading (for proper word meaning), or a thesaurus ( for word variation learning), then you will be able doing English activities that will help you further increase your score. However, this is not done overnight. You can't memorize a dictionary, nor can you memorize a thesaurus. This happens over a period of time. If you have not spoken or if you were not exposed to the English language from the day you were born, then you will need a lifetime to achieve native speaker level. However, the English learning advice I gave you above will be able to help you better prepare for the test. Will it garner you a score of 7? Maybe, if you truly apply yourself from now until you take the test.

@Holt
Thank you so much