Hi all, its my first post here. I hope you can help me to improve my writing.
Feel free to give me your advices about everything - content, clarity, punctuation, grammar etc. Just everything you think is good to be modified, in order to write better essays for TOEFL.
Thank you all in advance.
The topic is "If you could travel back in time to meet a famous person from history,what person would you like to meet? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice."
This is pretty short essay but its one of my first tries. Here it is :
If I could meet a famous person form history, this definitely would be Thomas Edison. His inventions changed the history and the way people live nowadays. I would learn lots of thing from him and this would motivate me in my future work as electronic engineer.
Thomas Edison originated the generation and implementation of electric power. This was crucial invention for the modern industrialized world. I can hardly imagine what would the world be now, if there wasn't electricity.
In addition to the electrical generation, Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, which was great implementation of the electrical energy. Before his discovery, this type of energy was known to people, but there wasn't any practical usage of it. After that, every singe man on the planet could take advantage of having light all night long.
Furthermore, Edison invented the telegraph - the forerunner of all well known telecommunication systems. Without his inventions, there would be neither television nor internet. I want to know what made him to think in this direction, why he devoted his time to work for something, which was considered impossible.
All in all, the inventions of Thomas Edison are great push for science and I consider him one of the greatest men in written history. I would like to meet him and talk about his thoughts and what inspired him. This would be a breath-stopping experience, which would motivate me to learn more about electricity and electronics.
240 Words
Feel free to give me your advices about everything - content, clarity, punctuation, grammar etc. Just everything you think is good to be modified, in order to write better essays for TOEFL.
Thank you all in advance.
The topic is "If you could travel back in time to meet a famous person from history,what person would you like to meet? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice."
This is pretty short essay but its one of my first tries. Here it is :
If I could meet a famous person form history, this definitely would be Thomas Edison. His inventions changed the history and the way people live nowadays. I would learn lots of thing from him and this would motivate me in my future work as electronic engineer.
Thomas Edison originated the generation and implementation of electric power. This was crucial invention for the modern industrialized world. I can hardly imagine what would the world be now, if there wasn't electricity.
In addition to the electrical generation, Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, which was great implementation of the electrical energy. Before his discovery, this type of energy was known to people, but there wasn't any practical usage of it. After that, every singe man on the planet could take advantage of having light all night long.
Furthermore, Edison invented the telegraph - the forerunner of all well known telecommunication systems. Without his inventions, there would be neither television nor internet. I want to know what made him to think in this direction, why he devoted his time to work for something, which was considered impossible.
All in all, the inventions of Thomas Edison are great push for science and I consider him one of the greatest men in written history. I would like to meet him and talk about his thoughts and what inspired him. This would be a breath-stopping experience, which would motivate me to learn more about electricity and electronics.
240 Words