Writing Task 2 : Topic - Arts and grants

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere.

To what extent do you agree with this view?

Arts hold a special place in most countries in the world, which could directly represent a country's cultural identity. While some people hold a belief that spending money on the arts is a form of money waste, I agree that financing the arts is a necessary thing that government should do.

It is understandable why some people disagree with the opinion of pouring money into art projects. The key rationale is that they believed that government budgets should be allocated to other areas which could be a precursor to developing a country and meeting the needs of citizens. This is evidenced by the fact that if infrastructures and services in hospitals were improved, the public could enjoy better healthcare services which could give rise to enhancement of their physical and mental health.

Nonetheless, allocating money to the arts is equally important, which can confer more benefits in general. On the individual level, visiting some museums and art projects would be an eye-opening experience for people which would lay the foundation for improving the deep appreciation of the arts. A notable example is that in the world, museums are mostly the go-to places for some people with the aim of lessening their stress after work and studies as well as increasing the arts experiences, helping to improve their mental health.

In addition to this, from the economic and cultural perspective, allocating money to traditional and ancient art forms would express the social and cultural value of a country. An example is in Vietnam, government financing on maintaining and improving some traditional art forms such as water puppetry and Quan Ho singing which not only preserve cultural identity but also create attractive activities for tourists. These activities inevitably are breeding grounds for improvements in tourism, which is a major contributor to a country's finances.

In gist, while some people believe that government should spend money on other sectors without the arts in the hope to improve the life quality of citizens and the country's well-being, I am convinced that financing money on the arts is also significant. This is because traditional art forms can represent a country's cultural identity along with improving the tourist industries in the country.

I hope you could score this article. Thank you!

This represents a personal opinion. It is not part of the original presentation. This should not be the opening statement for your prompt restatement. These sorts of information should be placed within the writer's opinion, if applicable. It created a prompt deviation that will not benefit your score in terms of task accuracy considerations. You will also lose points for not following the expected response format, which is a measure response for an extent essay. Since you did not offer an extent response at the beginning or the end of the essay, you will not receive full marks for the presentation.

Your body discussion is also incorrect as you justified both sides in the discussion when the requirement is to only defend a single opinion, the one you previously stated. Only the paragraph that actually supports your opinion will receive a partial score. The score can only be partial because you are not following the expected discussion format.

@minhnguyet231

In the 4th paragraph, you just need to write "In addition", it is unnecessary to add "to this".

Additionally, regarding the last sentence, rather than writing "This is because...", I recommend that you should write "This enables traditional art forms to represent a country's cultural identity" because it is seemingly more formal.

I hope this comment could help you.