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IELTS topic. Behaviour in school is getting worse



y0_3mma 19 / 28  
Apr 11, 2012   #1
pleace tell me what you think about this essay. i find it really good (I hope this is not because i've written it)

Behaviour is school is getting worse. explain the causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

Dealing with bad behaviour at school has never been an easy task. Nowadays, there are many specialists who claim that the number of disrespectful students is on the increase and therefore, this situation must be tackled.

One of the main reasons which leads to a bad behaviour in many schools is the lack of discipline. Teachers have no authority and clear rules to deal with disruptive students and consequently, they feel free to show disrespect, use mobile phones in class an hurl verbal abuse at adults. In 2010, the Association of Teachers pointed out that a quarter of members had been physically attacked by pupils during classes, with stuff being pushed, scratched, bitten and even kicked. However, it is not impossible to find good and effective ways to control these wild reactions. One solution is that schools should inforce clear rules for every type of misbehaving, so that students would be harshly punished if they misbehaved.

Parents are fuelling their children's bad behaviour. In their trial to be friends with their children, over-indulgent middle-class parents spoil them by fulfilling all their desires. As a recent British survey revals, they usually buy TVs, computer games, telephones or even expensive cars for their 'little sweethearts' . For this reason, teenagers are taught that they can have everything just by ordering. Parents should take responsabily for the impact they have on their children. They could teach them how to behave in schools and how to respect the authority and others, instead of buying their affection.

In conclusion, the problem of misbehaving at school can be tackled by giving a proper education at homes and by inforcing strict rules in schools.

EF_Susan - / 2310  
Apr 11, 2012   #2
Dealing with bad behaviour at school has never been an easy task. While this is a true statement, I don't feel it is a proper introduction. You might consider beginning with something like "The behavior of students has grown increasingly poor...)

One of the main reasons whichthings that contributeleads to bad behaviour in many schools is the lack of discipline.
In 2010, the Association of Teachers pointed out that a quarter of members had been physically attacked by pupils during classes, with stuffstaff being pushed, scratched, bitten and even kicked. One solution is that schools should inforceenforce clear rules for every type of misbehaving, so that students would be harshly punished if they misbehavedbecame reckless, disrespectful or out of control....(I just added a few descriptive examples to avoid using "misbehaving and misbehavior " in the same sentence to avoid redundancy).

I have made a few minor revisions which I hope you find helpful and I really like the way you put forth your feelings on this matter, especially the conclusion. Good job and good luck:)
Jiya 6 / 16  
Apr 11, 2012   #3
Slam! here is one more thing which I noticed, hope u like it!
number of disrespectful students are increasing and therefore this situation has become tackled.

Overall, it's a good essay!
OP y0_3mma 19 / 28  
Apr 12, 2012   #4
Jiya, THE NUMBER of disrespectful students is increasing

Thank you, Susan, I really appreciate your adivice and support.
Jiya 6 / 16  
Apr 14, 2012   #5
Oh yes! my mistake, sorry! n thanks for correcting me.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 661  
Apr 14, 2012   #6
Hi, I have some idea about the topic that you can use them as the reasons why these days the behavior of students is getting worse.

1) Financial difficulties can play a crucial role on the behavior of people. In fact, such problems can increase the stress level in a family and cause a student deals with an atmosphere which is full of conflicts and tensions. Therefore, he/she reflects the effects of this inappropriate atmosphere in the form of different types of abnormal behavior such as aggression.

2) The wrong behavior of teachers: Many teachers don not know how to interact with students in different age groups. In other words, the poor awareness of teachers with regard to psychological issues that may influence students' manner in an educational atmosphere can be viewed as another main reason in this respect.

3) The last thing that I think is important is that, students, especially those who are teenagers, always need to be the center of attention. When pupils injure each other through a contest, in fact, they wants to draw attention of others and they try to prove themselves in this way.

These are my idea, I just wanted to share them with you and know your opinion about.
Regards
A. Zafari


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