Topic about different standard for performance of male and female

Gender discrimination topic

Although women have against sex discrimination for hundreds of years but in some places, the preconception about working ability of women still exist in some employers. They promulgate many distinct criteria for male and female performance and it unintentional creates a barrier for women and limit their ability. I don't think we should encourage this actions because of 3 aspects - psychology, sociology and economy.

From the psychology view, the action creating different standards for male and female synonyms the employers had the preconception about sexual. We can't refuse some jobs men work better than women such as in the engineer, athletic or some physical requirement jobs. However, we can't assure that women is impossible to do that. In 1800s, no one though women can work in the science, especially in radioactive materials; as the result, no women worked in that field until the day Marie Curie was awarded unwillingly by Nobel Committee. No one can imagine she can win the Nobel Prize for twice with the major not for women - radioactive chemistry. If Marie Cutie was affected by preconception like other women, we wouldn't have that great discovery for science. Sometimes, because of the psychology barrier, many humans is limited their ability and the distinct criteria of sexual is the mental barrier for women capability.

In the sociology, we spent the hundreds of years for against sexual discrimination and got many achievements. Today, we have more and more women responsible for an important positions such as President of Germany, Defense Minister of Japan or managers of many corporations. That is the consequence of the refractory debate for women. Accepting the sexual discrimination synonyms that we refuse all of overcome from that fight. For the long-term, this will cause more and more serious consequences for the thoughts of the future generations also society upheaval.

The economy side have a little relative with biology. We all acknowledge about evolution theory of Darwin which discusses about adapted ability of animal includes human. In evolution theory, when we face to the difficult circumstance, we will adjust ourselves to adapt the environment. Similar to the working environment, when women face with the tough problem, they have to modify and develop themselves to appropriate with employer's criteria in case they don't want to be fired. If employer limit the working ability of a part of humans and they can't predict those have ability for creative or not, they will lose the opportunity to develop and increase their company from contribution of that part of humans. Human distinct is going forward and they will alter themselves to adapt environment, if the employer still keep the the different norm for male and female performance, they will decrease creative capability of a half of their staff and the profit of company.

In the fact, for some jobs men get more advantage than women. However, if the employers still keep the sexual discrimination criteria, they not only create the psychology barrier for woman and diminish the creative ability of female staffs as the company's profit but also destroy the social development. That is the reasons why I don't agree with the different standards for male and female performance.

@Holt : Hope you give me some advice for this essay.

Thuy, is this essay for a research paper, English class, or English test? Please let me know if this is an ordinary research paper or IELTS, TOEFL, or some other test and add the prompt for it as well. Right now, I'll just give you a general review of your problem points. You should make sure that your word usage is clear and relative to the meaning you wish to convey. For example, you confuse the reader when you say "women synonym". To a native English speaker, the phrase does not make sense. It causes stress because the reader cannot figure out what you want to say in the sentence. This affects the whole paragraph and, when the confusing term is repeatedly used, affects the overall message and understanding of the essay. Other examples of this problem in the essay are, "The economy have a little relative side to biology...", "Human distinct is going forward", to name a few more examples of the problem. You also should pay particular attention to your spelling, specially of historical names such as Madam Curie, not Cuty. The other grammar errors are negligible when you consider the more serious problems of the essay. I hope to see grammar improvements from you as you progress with your practice tests.

@Holt
Thanks so much. This is the topic essay for TOEFL practice test. I do a lot of grammar and vocabulary practice tests every day but I need to practice more in my writing and speaking because I don;t really know how to use them influentially.

Hi..
I would like give you suggestion for your essay.

... female performance and it unintentional (unintentionally) creates a barrier for women and limit (limits) their ability.

The adjective unintentional is modifying creates instead of a noun or pronoun. Use an adverb to modify a verb, adjective, or other adverb.

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb limit are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

Thank you

@anabel
Thanks. I will try the best to limited my grammar mistakes.