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Writing task 2 - The topic is about education and people who had been serving in the prison



phidang123 2 / 2  
Dec 17, 2020   #1
Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that inviting these people to talk to school students is the best way to tell them about dangers of committing a crime.

Do you agree or disagree?



Exemplary residents who had been serving in the prison, are invited to deliver speeches in front of institutions in order to teach the students not to commit crimes in the future. While many people criticised that this is the worst idea to educate children, I strongly believe that the talks between these two particular groups of human beings will benefit youngsters and society for several reasons.

Firstly, many individuals argue that teaching drawbacks and dangers of illegal activities for pupils is definitely a wrong offer if the presenters were put in jails. Specifically, these individuals had many deviant thinkings and behaviours in the past and their aberrant ideology is able to exist deeply and permanently in their minds. Even though they are trained to talk with the girls and boys at the schools. Nevertheless, it is totally possible that the students are failed to be trained and they may have a sense of excitement to go through the crimes. For example, many children are in the habit of aping the casts of the habitual criminals on action films, they may imitate and conduct exactly every dangerous scene in the real life, as a consequence.

In contrast, there was no longer any doubt in my mind that the lessons, which were compiled with according to the experience of lawbreakers, will break a thoughtless mindset of young people about criminal acts before it has happened. Particularly, when learners in institutions go through extremely terrible emotions by listening to what the habitual criminals have experienced in the previous time in prison, these kids will be scared to think about sins. As a result, the percentage of kids who sin in the future will fall down steadily. Furthermore, they will have understood and not impacted adversely by unwholesome entertainments or gangster films when they enjoy watching these programmes on television.

In conclusion, new educational strategies are always a controversial debate topic because many people have mixed opinions about this. However, I confidently trust that the direct lessons from the people, who went to jail and become a solid citizen afterwards, will be the most effective source to educate little boys and girls well.

I truly wish all of you and the educational consultant @ Holt would help me check my writing.
Many thanks!

toodii2102 6 / 12  
Dec 18, 2020   #2
Hi there. I'm confused a little bit because you claimed that "I strongly believe that the talks between these ...". This means you agree with this idea. But later in paragraph two, you wander in the thinking of why people don't agree which make me think that you don't disagree too. You should summarize the reason why people disagree with only 1 or 2 sentences and write more about why you agree.


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