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IELTS Tourism: Advantages outweigh Disadvantages? 'setting restriction areas'


I have to take IELTS exam on July 9. Please help me.
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As international travel becomes cheaper, more and more people travel and more countries open their doors for increasing numbers of tourists. What do you think? The advantages of tourism outweigh the disadvantages.

In an age of rampant globalization, 'tourism' enterprises has become hot issue throughout the world as more and more people have rooted the curiosity about the alien cultures at the other side of the world. At that point, some inhabitants point out that accepting a vast numbers of tourists to their land means they are unavoidably welcoming the threat to their beloved country. As far as I am concerned, 'tourism' may bring much more benefits than we have expected and should not fully banned in our modern society.

It cannot be argue the fact that our homeland is being spoilt by tourists. With the increasing amount of foreign visitors, the tour company tends to extend their markets by searching unusual and may be greener places for tourist attraction. As a consequence, that places are left as unpleasant are left as unpleasant areas filled with all kinds of garbage's and by-products from camping site of the tour groups. Moreover, the way they dress and behave might be imitated by indigenous young people who may lead to erosion of our own culture and also a loss of culture identify.

On the other hand, if we have well-educated attitude which can direct us only to learn their culture in order to gain proper understanding of the people different from us, the positive exchange between cultures and traditions can be appreciated. In addition, that might be a progress to promote our wonderful culture and breath-taking scenery proudly in the middle of the world.

The view from economics can also be taken into consideration in concerned with 'tourism' which can significantly give profits by means of foreign currency, the main stream of income for a nation. What is more, there have been sprung up of local shops around popular visited areas and therefore the rate of unemployment's can be cut down during tourist season.

All in all, although our valuable land may be suffered from environment pollution and loss of natural resources created by tourists, we should not neglect the outstanding beneficial effects that come together. From my point of view, government ought to impose rules and regulations by setting tourist-restriction areas as a protective shield for our mother land.

Hei Winnie! :D

Here are some corrections.

I suggest you look over the if clause briefly before your exam. I think you get to use it quite often through essays and speeches and such, so it would be good to know it.

And don't stress that much! Have a nice coffee before the exam or take a long, lazy shower or go for a run. Whatever helps you get rid of negative energy. You can do it, I'm sure of it! :D

In an age of rampant globalization, tourism enterprises have become a hot issue throughout the world ...

* - I was going to point out, that you must use "on the one hand" before using "on the other hand", but I've seen people employ "on the other hand" by itself quite a lot, so I'm wondering: Does the old rule apply? Or is it allowed to use "on the other hand" alone? If anyone could answer this, that would be great!
My English is not great. However, I believe that "on the other hand" can only be use if you are making a contrast/comparison towards a point you made before. It just doesn't seem to make sense if you have "on the other hand" without having something on one hand to compare. Just my 2 cents
Winnie, this might sound silly, but before you start writing an essay take 5 minutes to put your ideas down in a scheme or diagram. It will help you organise your thoughts better and improve on flow and coherence.


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