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Thuythuy12455 1 / -  
Apr 3, 2023   #1

enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office

The line graph illustrates how many enquiries were received by the Tourist Information Office in a city over the period of six months in 2011.

As can be seen from the graph, while the figure for the enquiries asked in person and by telephone increased, the opposite was true for that of by letter and email. Also, it is notable that the number of enquiries sent in person experienced the most dramatic change over the period shown.

In January of 2011, the figure for the enquiries asked by telephone was twice as much as that to in person, with more than 900 and approximately 400 questions respectively. Concurrently, the enquiries sent in letters or emails by tourists stood at nearly 800. Over the following three months, there was a sharp upward trend of approximately 400 questions in the number of people made enquiries in person. Likewise, that by telephone witnessed a moderate decline of nearly 100 questions and then climbed to 800 questions by the end of March. By contrast,a slight decline of nearly 30 was seen in the figure for the enquiries sent by letter and email in March.

From March onwards, the number of questions sent in person went up substantially to 1900 enquiries by the end of June. Likewise, in the same time, despite some fluctuation, the figure for people using the telephone to send enquiries also oscillated gradually to 1600 enquiries. By contrast, people did not prefer sending questions by letter or email, so there was a significant fall of approximately 300 enquiries, which ended in the lowest point in June.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,919 4799  
Apr 5, 2023   #2
over the period of six months

You need to be specific since I cannot see the graph. What months are covered? There are 12 months in a year so you need to explain to me which periods are actually covered by the discussion for clarity purposes. Since I do not know what the months represented are, I cannot be sure that you are giving me the correct short form information.

As can be seen from the graph,

You cannot ask the reader to refer to the graph. Like I said, the reader will not have a copy of the image. He is relying on you to deliver an accurate analysis and report of the image that only you can see. Referencing a location for the reader to look at will cause point deductions.

Do not begin referencing the motnhly schedule per paragraph. Always include that in the summary overview or trending statement to help the reader better prepare for the upcoming discussion. While the essay does more than meet the minimum word count, it is taking you too long to get to the point in the analysis and reporting section of the paragraphs. You are being highly verbose when direct information presentations are required. Do not focus on word usage in the task 1 essay. Focus on information dissemination using relevant keywords and synonyms whenever possible.

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