Child development and games
In this day and age, educationalists and parents have been really worrying about what sorts of games are the best for children to develop themselves. It is undeniable that each game that a kid participates in has a big influence on him. It can be obviously seen that the senior are more familiar with traditional games than youngsters, on the contrary, adolescents get used to recreations newly blooming more. This generates a controversy that which kind of game is better for children. I am personally biased to approve of the idea that traditional games bring more benefits to the young after taking it into consideration.
To commence with, let us discuss some minor merits of modern games to children. Admittedly, youngsters will be approached a novel environment also known as a virtual world. It provides them with plenty of skills about a variety of high-tech devices or gadgets. Electronic game is a typical example of up-to-date games through which children can enhance their quickness, become more clever while playing adventurous ones or much more skillful with games offering dexterity. Furthermore, they are also equipped with enough knowledge about computers namely special symbols, softwares or how to fix it when crashed. Adversely, because children are easy to be engrossed in internet and can not by themselves manage time, currently developing games also exert a negative effect on them. Eye-sight problems, distracting from studies or tending not to go out are some major drawbacks that this type of pastime causes. It is, therefore, not beneficial for children.
Nevertheless, try looking at this issue from various angles, it is undoubtedly true that traditional games help children develop such skills like soft skills or enhancing physical health. First and foremost, young boys and girls can get acquaintance with new real friends. Instead of seeing through a screen, the interaction between them is highly improved. A child may practice how to communicate with others better. They will have some chit-chat or conversations with a lot of fellows. They can change some bad behaviors and become more adaptable and sociable. Unquestionably, striking characteristics of each individual will be displayed, kids could learn positive actions from their mates, specially, sympathy and sharing will be encouraged and naturally evolve in their soul.
Another plus point of games existing for years is raising union. It is really essential and vital in modern life and also reflects one thing that you play modern games does not mean that you will lead a better life more than ones join in conventional recreations. When you contact via computer, you are in a closed room, only you do whatever is given. By contrast, with outdoor activities, you usually enroll in a group with a number of members, play together. During that time, along with companions, you all attempt to win in a game. Every effort is made for a group, not an individual. From that, the support among members is boosted to reach the victory. Physical activities or brainstorming pastimes cannot lack union. In other words, children just show all their talents and competences while being in a particular actual community.
In the light of all these aforementioned concrete evidences. I firmly assert that modern games may not bring more advantages than traditional games when seen in some main sides. Even though the best way to develop totally for a child is participating in diverse games, parents should consider carefully so that children can play in a fresh and positive surroundings. Time goes by quickly, traditional games will be lessened but they are still effective for each child.
Children should be free to rate and give comments about their individual affair. When they grow up, they gradually have some changes, that is, don't need the help of others, they can by themselves learn to do many things namely ride a bike or whistle, this generates several variations. In school, let a child do what he can, correct it himself in order to avoid relying on teachers. They should throw out nonsense things like grades, exams, let a student study what cultivated person learns. Children should be allowed to carry on their work in the reasonable ways to them. And parents and teachers don't be anxious about what children have not ever learned, they will certainly learn everything fundamental.Hi.
I was confused with some parts. I think there are some sentences that have too many ideas so it's not clear what they're trying to say. For example,
"When they grow up, they gradually have some changes..."
I didn't understand what 'this generates several variations' meant.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 Cu, please provide the complete prompt requirements for your next essay exercise so that you can be properly assessed using the IELTS band considerations. At this point, there is no way for me to tell if you are responding properly to the prompt requirements or if you deviated from the discussion format at some points. While I will commend you for a well discussed essay, I will frown upon you for not properly providing a concluding statement in your essay. Granted that you made a mistake by posting the concluding sentence of a different exercise, that still does not erase the fact that you did not create a proper summarized concluding statement and instead, tried to pass of your opinion paragraph as the closing statement. You always need to present a proper concluding statement that accurately sums up the discussion topic and points, as well as your personal opinion at the end. That is because the ability to paraphrase the opening statement and then your own discussion is considered very seriously in the final scoring and should always show off your English comprehension skills at its best.
