IELTS -children play computer games than traditional games; good or a bad way?

Question:
Nowadays, children play computer games for long hours and they do not play old traditional games. What do you think is the reason? Do you think this influences children in a good or a bad way?

Answer:
Technology revolution result in daily new computer games is introduced in the market. Playing computer games is very interesting for child and makes them to play for long hours than historical games. In my point of view though it has some benefit but continuous playing leads to a bad way of life.

Apparently, computer games is better leisure activity which motivates and gives self confidence for children to achieve their goals. It improves creativity among children. It enables children to dedicate their valuable time. It makes children to be adventurous and make them to be courageous to face any problem in their life. It improves their concentration. Playing games help children who are ill divert them from their pain and discomfort.

On the other hand, children are addicted towards the computer games which distract their studies. Playing for many hours make children to be obese. Due to its attractiveness make children to avoid their traditional games. Continuous playing results in psychological problem among children. Some games influence violence in the children. For example, a report says that children who playing shooting games influence them to test it in real time situation and many cases are reported around the world. Due to attractiveness of computer games produce traditional games are diminishing.

In a nutshell, though playing computer games have some advantages it affects children. It diverts children to forget their traditional games. Let's motivates children to play their traditional games to make them to be fit and respect their culture and tradition.

... this is your opening sentence. So I feel it needs some improvement in its presentation;
Technology revolutionized many aspects of our lives and so did it with the games that children play.


..."addiction" is a good key word to use here. Also it should be "traditional games" and not "historical games"

Playing computer games makes children addicted to this activity and therefore they do not have a sense of passing time when they start playing computer games.