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Traffic jams and traffic accidents are big problems in Vietnam

Blackrain 2 / 3  
Mar 15, 2021   #1

dealing with traffic jams and accidents

Traffic jams and traffic accidents have always been a concerning, controversial issue in the world. With respect to the solutions to this problem, I will put forward some that are possibly done to minimize it.

Firstly, the authority should enlarge the road system. At times, that there are only a few narrow roads located right in the city center is the main cause of traffic jam. Therefore, they had better proliferate more motorways to lower the pressure that vehicles put on main routes during rush hours and also by doing that, give the citizens the pleasure of not having to wait desperately in the long lines of transportations.

Secondly, in addition to widening the road system, the government should enhance the utility of public transport on the grounds that private means of transportation occupy a lot of road space and can cause congestion. To do this, they ought to encourage people to travel mainly by buses and underground which can contain a lot of people. Through many privileges such as: inexpensive, convenient, environmentally friendly,...., public transport definitely the best alternative to cars-the vehicle which can easily get bogged down with traffic jams.

Finally, laws must be promulgated strictly and clearly to cope with all the activities and means of transportation that can bring about traffic jams and traffic accidents. The traffic policemen must immediately be mobilized when there are congestions or car crashes to tackle the situations as fast as possible. Simultaneously, cars and motorcycles have to be completely prohibited from the city center in the interest of the high possibilities of triggering heavy traffic, accidents, and also, to some extent, the detrimental gases they release during rush hours.

In brief, dealing with traffic jams and traffic accidents is very necessary to develop a comprehensive traffic environment and the government should do everything in their power to reduce or even get rid of these. However, we-the citizens- from all ages and all classes of the society should also be aware of the seriousness of these problems and therefore, conform to the government's measures critically.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,946 3853  
Mar 16, 2021   #2
This is a 4 paragraph essay that utilizes only 2 reasoning paragraphs. One for the causes and one for the solutions. You are not using the proper format for the discussion and, you are wasting valuable editing time by writing more than 2 reasoning paragraphs. Your thesis statement is not clear. It does not tell me exactly what topics you will be discussing based on the subjects. You only imply a discussion, which does not help to pre-summarize your discussion presentation.

Avoid exaggerated presentations. It is acceptable for you to refer to the topic as concerning, but not as controversial as there is no reference to such a situation in the original presentation. Examiners do not like it when students exaggerate the topic presentation because it often leads to misdirected discussion points in the reasoning paragraphs.

You also cannot use 3 punctuation marks successively in a sentence. That is going to severely reduce your GRA score due to your obvious lack of grammar and punctuation usage.

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