Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


Traffic problems in city; new roads and railway networks, sub ways and skylines



ammus1 10 / 29  
May 13, 2014   #1
Hai friends ,please check my essay and thanks in advance for ur valuable time and patience.

Ques:The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel for work,education or shopping.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Ans:The world that we live in today is dominated by traffic problems.Some people tend to think that the only way to combat this problem is by decreasing the need to travel for work place,education and shopping.However,I believe that there are some other measures to tackle this issue.

To begin with,I agree that the advancement of technology helps people to do all their jobs from their home itself.For example,e-learning and e-shopping are very popular among people in our society.Nevertheless,it is not sure that everybody wants to do this from their home especially ,elderly.Old people,they like to go out and socialise with other people and it completely depends upon the people's choice.Thus this is not an acceptable solution for this problem.

However,there are some alternative measures to solve this problem.Firstly,government can charge a levy from the private vehicle owners for parking which helps to reduce the traffic to a certain extent and this money can use to build new roads,subways and skylines.A similar system has been running in London,and has resulted in fewer vehicles on the roads.Another solution of this problem is that encourage people to use public transport rather than their own vehicles.Moreover ,government should allow and build more pedestrian areas for the public in metropolitan areas.Therefore,there are many ways to tackle this problem.

To sum up,I would like to reiterate that nobody can stop the people to go to work,shopping and education.Wheras,there are some other measures to tackle this issue such as new roads and railway networks,sub ways and skylines.It helps the people to increase their quality of life.

niesaysi 16 / 281  
May 13, 2014   #2
Old people,they like to go out and socialise with otherspeople . and it completely depends upon the people's choice.

Therefore,there are many ways to tackle this problem.

These are the most effective ways to solve this problem.
To sum up,I would like to reiteratebelieve that nobody can stop the people to go to work,shopping and education.

Wheras

Whereas
Pahan 1 / 1824  
May 14, 2014   #3
The world that we live in today is dominated by traffic problems.Some people tend to think that the only way to combat this problem is by decreasing the need to travel for work place,education and shopping.However,I believe that there are some other measures to tackle this issue.

I see a problem with your thesis statement (highlighted above)
You need to express clearly to which extent you agree to the following statement;

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel for work,education or shopping

.... so your final sentence in the intro should answer that and not about how to tackle the issue.
OP ammus1 10 / 29  
May 14, 2014   #4
Could you please write a model thesis sentence for this essay , pahan.
dumi 1 / 6793  
May 14, 2014   #5
The world that we live in today isdominatedtroubled by traffic problems.

.... you follow the right approach for the intro. Good effort :)

Your body paras too are not aligned with your prompt. You have gone out of topic in them too... You need to tell the reader about your view on the statement and defend your view in your body paras by giving reasons and examples. Your prompt does not ask for measures to arrest the traffic condition. :(


Home / Writing Feedback / Traffic problems in city; new roads and railway networks, sub ways and skylines
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳