Traffic problems - a headache issue that we have to solve right now for the society development

Help me to perfect my essay. :)
I need it to pass my entrance exam.
Traffic plays an undeniable role in socio-economic development but besides that it also gives us many tough issues. First and foremost, the most common problem is traffic jam. The uneven development of social and physical facilities brings us a drawback that road quality improving do not meet vehicles number increasing. A huge number of vehicles flow in small road during rush hours makes it not smoothly, and became stuck. Time wasted for traffic jam is harmful in the fast paced world we live. One more thing, people's thought is not good enough to obey to traffic rules well. Without the appearing of cop, numerous participants traffics drive dangerously, which sometimes results in fatal accident. Not to mention, the rapid rise in petrol, the major fuel of great deal of vehicles, is hard to guess. It causes great number of people have a headache when they choose the way to join traffic. Although, to sump up, the fundamental benefits of traffic is far outweigh its drawbacks, we have to solve its trouble right now to make a perfect development of society.

I think if I were you, i would you traffic congestionin stead of traffic jam
-The uneven development of social and physical facilities brings us a drawback that road quality improving do not meet vehicles number increasing -> the uneven development of social and physic facilities is, in some cases, a major drawback for traffic situation as the improvement in road quality does not meet with the ever increasing in number of vehicles

- world we live ->world that we are currently inhabiting

Time wasted for traffic jam is harmful in the fast paced world we live ->]time wasted for traffic jam is harmful to our work, especially in a world that discipline in workplace is becoming increasingly important

One more thing, people's thought is not good enough to obey to traffic rules well ->Last but not least, people's awareness towards traffic-related problems is not well-nurtured enough to strictly uphold traffic rules and laws

appearing ->appearance
the rapid rise in petrol, the major fuel of great deal of vehicles, is hard to guess. It causes great number of people have a headache when they choose the way to join traffic -> the unpredictable rise in petrol price, which is the major culprit of increasing in vehicles, render lots of people to be confused when choosing a means of transportation

that is just what i think. Good luck with your exam

just a few corrections for my own mistakes
harmful to ->harmful for
render a lot of people to be confused -> renders lots of people confused

Time wasted for traffic congestion is harmful for our work, especially in a world that discipline in workplace is becoming increasingly important. Secondly , people's awareness towards traffic-related problems is not well-nurtured enough to strictly uphold traffic rules and laws. Without the appearance of cop, numerous participants traffics drive dangerously, which sometimes results in fatal accidents . Secondly , the unpredictable sharp rise in petrol price, which is the major culprit of increasing in vehicles, render lots of people to be confused when choosing a means of transportation.

there you go. Your essay is much better now

First, You should wirte eassy in a good format as
Introduction

Body paragraph 1
.
.
.
Body Paragraph2
.
.
. Conclusion

It's about 140 words and just one paragraph

you must be taking the university entrance exam in Vietnam?

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