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Toefl - It would be tragic if we put the wrong metric on judging people (external appearance)


osooo 1 / 1  
Mar 9, 2011   #1
Hello, I gonna to take the toefl test next month, and i kinda frustrated for the writings essays.
Please help me to revise my essay, and I would be appreciated for the modify you do.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One should never judge a person by external appearances. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

The topic of people's view on something could be approached from different angle due to its complexity. Some people think judging a person from external appearances is wrong. However, other people regard outer appearances as something the most important. As for me, I prefer to former one, which is, judging people from external appearances would be misleading to truly understand person.

When two peoples come across each other for the first time, it is no denied that the outer appearances play an important role and influence us greatly to judge others. However, is it right to judging people from outer features? As far as I see, I hold a point that people should know other peoples deeply and in a comprehensive way. In other words, people's merit would be wrapped inside him/her carefully, and it wouldn't be easy to notice these sorts of merits if we judge others blindly by external appearances. For example, one of the human virtues, the honesty, is very important for people. And honesty would be crucial metric to regard people as bad or good. Yet, how we realize that whether an unknown people own this virtue or not just from his appearances. As a result, many merits would be ignored through this wrong judging method, and we would definitely lose many chances to meet nice guys.

Perhaps someone would say that people's characteristic would be reflected directly on his/her appearances. However, as I see it, I consider this statement is lack of evidence to be proved correct. There are too many cases showing that a criminal do an unforgivable crime with an angel's outlook. Yet, what would happen if we set this outer appearance's judging standard first? First, the value of our world would be distorted and the right value would be "beauty and handsome would be more important than other merit such as honesty and endurance. " Second, the real excellent person's talent would be neglect and our world would be wasting its resource, since it doesn't put the right guy on the right way. Consequently, many aspect, such like economy, industry or educational, of our world would be putted into a status of stasis or even regression. It would be tragic if we put the wrong metric on judging people.

As a result, in order to put our society into the correct path, the first step must be setting the right metric of judging things, which including judging people. And only by doing the first step right could we begin to think about how to do next, isn't it?

eating105 2 / 3  
Mar 9, 2011   #2
I hope the suggestions as follows can be helpful for your test.
In the begining of the second paragraph, you can add the topic sentense to make your stance more clearly.
First, it is impossible to know the person's real personality just from his/her external appearance. When two peoples come across each other for the first time....

Perhaps someone would say that people's characteristic would be reflected directly on his/hertheir appearances. However, as I see it, I consider this statement is lack of evidence to be proved correct.that there is less evidence to prove this statement.
OP osooo 1 / 1  
Mar 10, 2011   #3
Thank you so much!! I think I always use such "chinese english"
And also thank for your topic sentence recommendation!!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Mar 13, 2011   #4
However, other people regard outer appearances as something very important indicators.-----I changed it so that it would make sense grammatically.

As for me, I prefer to former one, which is, I adhere to the view that judging people from external appearances would be misleading to and unable to help me truly understand person.

"Guys" is informal, and it seems strange to use a word that leaves out women.
and we would definitely lose many chances to meet nice guys people.

Perhaps someone would say that people's characteristics would be ----As an alternative, you can use the word character. These words have different meanings:
"character" and "characteristics"

You are doing very well! Do not be frustrated. You are good at this.


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