Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Train soldiers for war. Let's train them to come home, too


ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Nov 12, 2016   #1
Hector Gracia as Psychologist wants to help people suffering PTSD. Nowadays, this can be eliminated since a research released that treatments actually get rid of symptoms. Furthermore, it turns out, the using of PTSD for military and preparing war. Warriors enable to use the devastating weapon, while good at applying the sophisticated training methods. However, they do not have any preparation to go home. The reason for this is their traumatic about the war. It is different than erasing memory because veterans always remember about that war, yet with a little training , those memories are no longer painful as they once were. The best treatment of ending human suffering caused by war is to never go to war. Eventually, scientists should give a reflected that there are a lot of beautiful places to back home and also change the mindset of a soldier to go home.

source : ted.

Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Nov 12, 2016   #2
Riandi, your summary is quite short. It does not carry the complete information that the video and transcript offer. You did not refer at all to the past treatments for PTSD and the current treatments being used. There should have been a discussion centering upon the need to retrain these soldiers suffering from PTSD for civilian life. The informative summary should have, at the very least, mentioned a quick list of the treatments that Hector Garcia suggested in the video. In order to have written an effective summary of the video, you should have included reference to the successful treatment done on Carlos and how it transpired. Your current summary tells me that you just forgot to refer to these things in specific terms. That is because you have written a nice overview of the simple, but irrelevant parts of the video presentation in your summary. All you have to do is make sure to lengthen the essay by adding the important points to it somewhere in the middle part of the summary essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / Train soldiers for war. Let's train them to come home, too