Transported goods and rail - task 1 academic for correction and comments

Modes of Transport in UK

The line graph illustrates the amount of goods transported in the UK by four kinds of transportation from 1974 to 2002. Unit is measured in million tonnes.

Overall, an increasing trend can be clearly seen across the 28 year period. Road was the most popular among the four different types of transportation while pipeline is the least used.

In 1974, the highest mode of transported goods was carried through road, at approximately 70 million tonnes. This was followed by rail and water, 40 and around 38 million tonnes respectively. In comparison, road continued its upwards trend with a slight declined in between year 1978 and 1982 before reaching its peak by the end of 2002.

On the other hand, while rail usage declined, reaching its lowest, just above 20 million tonnes, water utilization has increased steadily across 13 years before decreasing shortly after 1998, at around 45 million tonnes before increasing just above 60 million tonnes By 2002. At around 5 million tonnes was used to carry good through pipeline, although, there was an increased across the 28 year period it was still the least popular, registering its highest just above 20 million tonnes by 2002.

Please check my work, any suggestion, comments will be highly appreciated. I need to practice because I will take my exam next month.

Kristofffer, since you did not provide the image that you analyzed, which is a required part of the IELTS task 1 presentation in this forum, I will not be able to offer you a score for your essay. All I can do for you at this point is point out your mistakes and comment on possible improvements. Since I will not have access to the provided graph, I will not be able to judge the accuracy of your work based upon the information you were provided for the summary.

First of all, writing more than 150 words is always good for your essay. However, if the 150 plus words are not presented in the proper format, then you will lose points under the Task Accuracy and Grammar Range brackets. Always create a paragraph of at least 3 sentences long, maximum of 5. The paragraph number itself should be no less than 3 and no more than 5 in order to allow the reviewer to gain a better idea regarding your English language abilities in relation to your lexical resources, cohesiveness and coherence, and other considerations. So the format you used for the essay would be marked down, even if it is informative and based upon the image you were presented for summarizing.

Your first and second paragraphs could have been combined into one paragraph in order to create an accurate summary overview. In terms of format responsiveness, the second paragraph is underdeveloped in discussion. That is the main opinion for that paragraph since it is under the 3 sentence minimum requirement. Only the final paragraph of your essay was written in accordance with the format expectations.

I can't help but feel that you just summarized the obvious information and did not go for a more analytical approach to the writing. I can sense that in the way that the presentation is mechanical in delivery. If you had provided the graph, I would have been able to give you proper advice regarding the improvement of your mechanical tone. I can probably do that in your next essay for this task, provided you remember to upload the image along with your essay.

@Holt
Thank you for your advice and comment, I am sorry it that the graph was not uploaded. I did attached it but it was no uploaded when I posted it. I previewed it before posting, there was a prompt that attach pictures will be uploaded upon posting. I'll try again. Thank you