Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Travel Versus Saving Money (IELTS test prep essay)



orlando 13 / 94  
Aug 16, 2009   #1
Topic: It is better to spend money on travel than to save money for the future.

While some people prefer to spend money on future, some tend to spend money on travel in order to experience new enviorements and cultures. There are many advantages to gain by/from(?) travelling. In my opinion, one should rather save money than spend on travel, however.

First, people should save money considering the financial difficulties they might face in the future. Nowadays, it is hard to have a stable job regarding to financial crisis worlwide. It will be a wise decision for people to save money in case they lose their jobs. Therefore they might spend those saving and save time untill they find a new job. Otherwise one who spend money on travel instead of saving for future will struggle with financial difficulties

Second, it is essential for individuals to save money in order to handle unexpected situations they might face in the future. Most people, for example, save money particularly on health because it is hard to predict whether they will suffer with a disease or not in the future. Moreover, as they age, they may more likely to recieve medical care. Having a budget to afford those medical cares, they will feel more secure about facing unpredictable health conditions.

Third, parents with children have the responsibility of taking care of other members of the family relying on them such as their children. Therefore they should consider their future and save money in order to provide their needs such as good education. Saving their future should be their priority instead of spending money on travel.

As there are a number of benefits people might gain from travelling, saving money for the future should become their priority. As long as one becomes capable of having savings for main needs, one can spend money on travelling without worrying about the future.

(I guess this topic was used by another user of this website in one of previous threads. It is a 40 mins essay. I am cheking whether I improved my writing ability in given time in the exam. Thanks)

EF_Simone 2 / 1975  
Aug 16, 2009   #2
There are many advantages to gain by/from(?)oftravel.

In my opinion,However, one should rather save money than spend on travel, because...
here you should summarize the arguments you are going to make in the body of the essay.
EF_Sean 6 / 3460  
Aug 16, 2009   #3
A start on the grammar for you:

First, people should save money in consideration of the financial difficulties they might face in the future. Nowadays, it is hard to find a stable job because of the worldwide financial crisis worlwide . It would bea wise decision for people to save money in case they lose their jobs. Therefore they might spend those saving and save time until they find a new job. Otherwise, if they spend money on travel instead of saving for the future, they may struggle with financial difficulties if they get laid off.
OP orlando 13 / 94  
Aug 16, 2009   #4
Thanks guys for the corrections.


Home / Writing Feedback / Travel Versus Saving Money (IELTS test prep essay)
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳