Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


I have some true friends! ; My memorable experience(s)"



delightlita 1 / 1  
Dec 10, 2012   #1
"My memorable experience(s)"
In my life, I have some friends but they are true friends. We have studied together since 2009. We help each other to pass the exams. We always hang out in many places. We almost graduate, so we decided to go to Singapore and this is one of the best memorable experiences.

Firstly, we lost each other at subway station. When we were being on train, we met old couple who can speak Thai, we had the same direction, so they came with us. Unfortunately, we had to interchange the line and went down the stairs. We decided to separate for 2 groups, one group went down the stairs and another waited for an elevator with old couple but we misunderstood that the exit from an elevator and stairs were the same, so we lost each other and hadn't mobile phone or internet. Fortunately, we found each other after 20 minutes ago.

Secondly, we traveled 17 places in 5 days. We leave from hostel at 8 a.m. and back to hostel at 11 p.m. every day. We went to see the landmark, museum, amusement park, zoo etc. The last day we went to Mustafa centre where to buy some chocolates in lowest prices.

In conclusion from this trip, I am very impressive because this trip was set by us such as booked airline tickets and hostel, searched information about tourist attractions and solved the problem together. We went to every place where we wanted to go. We met nice people on Singapore who always helped when we asked for directions. This is the best time in my memorable experience with my university friends.

Pahan 1 / 1824  
Dec 10, 2012   #2
In my life, I have some friends but they are true friends.

This sentence sounds a little odd. Let me help you.
I have few friends in my life, but they are true friends.

When we were being on train, we met old couple who can speak Thai, we had the same direction, so they came with us.

We met an old couple while travelling on the train. They could speak Thai and since they were going to the same place as us, they decided to join us.

We decided to separate for 2 groups, one group went down the stairs and another waited for an elevator with old couple but we misunderstood that the exit from an elevator and stairs were the same, so we lost each other and hadn't mobile phone or internet.

... This sentence is too long. Try to break it down.
We decided to go in 2 separate groups. One group took the stairs and the other group waited for the elevator with the old couple.

I dont quite understand the next bit. If the exits of the elevator and the stairs were the same how did you get lost???
OP delightlita 1 / 1  
Dec 10, 2012   #3
Firstly, thank you for your suggestions.

"we misunderstood that the exit from an elevator and stairs were the same"

this sentence, I mean I think the exit from an elevator and stairs is the same but it's not true. so I write "we misunderstood that the exit from an elevator and stairs were the same"

Could you please suggest we what is right.

I'm sorry my grammar is not good
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Dec 10, 2012   #4
Ahhhhh now I understand what you meant. hehe.
Hmmm why not try to say it like this.

We decided to go in 2 separate groups. One group took the stairs and the other group waited for the elevator with the old couple. But unfortunately we did not realize that the elevator and the stairs lead to 2 different exits. The worst part was that no one had a mobile and so we didn't have any way of communicating with each other.

I hope this sounds better to you. :)


Home / Writing Feedback / I have some true friends! ; My memorable experience(s)"
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳