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Is it true that women make better parents than men? Discuss


Elixiron 1 / -  
Jul 21, 2017   #1
Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answer.

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taking care of children



Some people believe that women make better parents than men. They say that this is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. On the other hand, some people consider that men are just as good as women at parenting. For my part, I don't agree on the second idea. I absolutely agree with the first idea. There are a few reasons why people prefer this. However, two most significant reasons are genetically mother has better quality and women usually spend more time in taking care of their children.

One significant reason why people prefer women in taking care of their children is that genetically mother has better quality in taking care of their children. İn other words, the mother has many skills in the care of their children. For instance, mother more tolerant than the father in the care of their children because women have an emotion of motherliness. In addition, mothers can transfer their experience to their daughters to become perfect mothers in the future. As a result, if they want to children in taking care, they should choose women

Apart from mother have better quality in taking care of their children, women usually spend more time with their children than men because, in many countries, they are usually less engaged in working. Therefore, they can recognize their children better. In addition, mothers can solve their children's problems because the mother must spend more time with their children and gets to know them better. As a result, it is the right choice for women to raise children.

In conclusion, women can better than men in taking care of children. In other words, if people want to better children in taking of care, they should choose women. As a result, from what has been said, it is the right choice for women to raise children.

WORD COUNT:306

Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Jul 21, 2017   #2
Atakan, this is not a comparison and point of view essay. This is a straightforward personal opinion essay. So the way you wrote the essay doesn't really address the prompt instructions for the discussion. A paraphrasing adjustment is in order in this case that should reflect the major instruction of the paper. The adjustment to your essay should sound like this:

Some people believe that women are better at raising children than men. Others believe that men can be just as effective in raising children. In this essay, I will be discussing my point of view regarding this issue.

In my opinion, women are better at raising and taking care of children because...


The only problem that I see with your paper is in the opening statement / paraphrasing. The reasons that you discuss within your body paragraphs are sound and valid. These are reasons that most people consider and are popularly accepted as common knowledge. If you could have used a personal experience to further validate your point of view, the discussion would have been scored even higher. In fact, the addition of a negative opinion, using an example, of how a father is not as well equipped in raising children would have further shown an in-depth consideration of the discussion and increased your score even further.

Regardless of the slight mistakes in punctuation and grammar, you have a well developed discussion and could easily score high marks because of your language proficiency, regardless of the minimal GRA problems. The only scoring down would have been in the opening statement and conclusion portion of the discussion. Your conclusion continued the discussion instead of summarizing the information and delivering a closing statement based on the aforementioned information in your essay. A simple opening line that indicates the conclusion could have been "In conclusion", "Finally", "To close my opinion statement I would like to reiterate that.." among others.


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