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Trying new things and taking risks is the cornerstone of success



alwakeel 2 / 3  
Dec 13, 2017   #1
Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well

an efficient way to reach success



Success in life is a journey, which needs several steps to reach the success and satisfaction. Some people incline to restrict themselves to do what they know only, and they think that this is the easiest way to success. In my opinion, trying new things and taking risks is the cornerstone of success. I feel this way for a few reasons, which I will explore in this essay.

First of all, getting outside the comfort zone is the first step to the success because you will be different than others. People try to follow and mimic each other. The reason for that they feel comfortable to do what they know and avoid trying new stuff. On the other hand, few individuals have the ability to challenge themselves and try something different, and that's why they are unique and successful. I found this is to be true in my own life as a result of witnessing my father. He graduated from Cairo Medical School as many other doctors in Egypt. Most of his classmates went to the traditional way and worked at the Ministry of Health with a low salary. He decided to do something different than them, so he traveled to one of the undeveloped countries in Africa. He built a hospital there to help poor people. At that time the idea looked crazy until the United Nations decided to help that country. They appreciated my father's work and agreed to support him financially. Later on, my father became wealthy and worked with the United Nations as a medical consultant for their charity work. Accordingly, this experience shows that how is taking a risk can be the first step to success.

Second, we do not know our limitations and abilities until we discover it, so, people who are afraid form trying new things are restricting their minds and do not identify themselves very well. They think that whatever they are doing is always the best. However, they did not have a chance to cross their limitations. My friend's life is a compelling example of this. Peter, my friend, was working as a graphic designer in a TV channel. He was focusing on doing his job only and did not try to expand his duties. After five years of working in the same field, I told him that to try to be a journalist because his communication skill was impressive. Primarily, he resisted that idea, but later on, he made it. He realized that this new business is the best fit for him. Clearly, this example illustrates that how some individuals have a wrong self-image about themselves until they break their mental restrictions.

Finally, trying new things has a lifelong effect on happiness and satisfaction, however, doing one thing per life can lead to depression. Thus, in order to be successful, you have to enjoy your life and feel happy. According to a study carried out by the educational department at Cairo University, 77% of people who took risks in their life was feeling satisfied with their decisions, even if they did not accomplish their goal 100%. On the other hand, persons who did not challenge themselves and did new things were complaining from a kind of depression. This study concludes that happiness has an impact on the success and achieving person's goals.

To sum up, I strongly believe that people who are participating in new things and taking risks are more successful than others. This is because a successful person needs to do something different than others, remove any mental restriction, and feel fulfilled. Thus, it is wiser for each one to move forward and take some big decisions to change his life to a better way.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Dec 13, 2017   #2
Mo, are you preparing for an IELTS test? The response essay that you wrote sounds like it. I wish you had provided the original prompt statement as is required of all the students who participate in this forum. That way I would be able to help you improve your work in a specific manner, applicable to the purpose you wrote the essay for. At this moment, I can only give you a general review of your essay based upon format considerations rather than content.

For starters, I can point out that your opening paraphrase may be inconsistent with the original prompt. That is because it does not feel like you are restating the original prompt at all. Instead, it seems like you are beginning the discussion in a manner that does not consider the original prompt presentation. Instead, you are giving an original introduction without actually informing the reviewer about the original prompt information.

All of your paragraphs are composed of more than 5 sentences, which is the maximum allowable per paragraph. That is because you are discussing the information in great and specific detail instead of summarizing your discussion in a manner that will prove your ability to make yourself understood in English using short but completely developed thought presentations in every paragraph.

When you present example information, do not say that you witnessed something when nothing could be further from the truth. The information you presented is based on your father's experience. Therefore, you should say that the reason you are discussing the information is because of your father's experience in a similar scenario. It is not that you witnessed what your father did in as much as you heard about it from your father. So be clear, you did not witness is, you heard about it.

It would be beneficial to your essay if you do not use such specific information such as percentages and including sources of the information. That connotes that you had to do research when completing the paper. You won't have the ability to complete the essay in the testing center in that manner, so you should not get used to doing that during the practice tests. Stick to popular information, your personal experience, or the experience of those around you in order to deliver a strong presentation instead.

Your concluding statement comes in strong, but I am not sure if it delivers all of the necessary summary points, just as I am not sure that your discussion is on point regarding the prompt requirements. Maybe you can include the original prompt when you write your next practice test. I should be able to review that essay in a more relevant manner when that time comes.


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