Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


The two way of measure a success; money and technical skills at a job field



mjpnidhi 1 / -  
Sep 8, 2019   #1

A successful person is one who has earned a lot of money



The phenomenon of the successful person is indeed a controversial term among folks since the dawn of human civilization. The financial position throughout the one's tenure is often considered as one of the path to measure the success. I believe being rich in money is a good criterion to judge the success although technical skills in occupation are also crucial in the same cadre to be considered.

Certainly, the person's wealth is one of the ways to evaluate the success. The businessmen are one of the successful people as they have lots of money to be spent and live richly in the society. For example, the annual income of the business persons is very high and compare to others Moreover, there expenditure make them visible in neighbours and surrounding get the rich standard logo over there. Thus, being rich financially is an effective gauge of success.

Beside money, technical skill attained during the jobs would surely be measured as a success. Despite it is deemed as mere routine activities to earn money, it requires many pivotal virtues to be perfect in particular sets of skills such as dedication, concentration, practices, patients and so on. For instance, as a medical professional, I need to perform the surgeries in patients to alleviate them from the medical complications. Though treatments of the patients are part of academic curriculum, I have to follow the above mentioned virtues to apply them efficiently without fail. Thus, a successful practice of the learned techniques is also a measure of success.

In conclusion, the nature of success is multifaceted. This essay discussed two way of measure the success; money and technical skills at job field. I think money an easy tool quantify the success, however, implication of the skills also possessed the strong side to be represented.

Maria - / 1096  
Sep 9, 2019   #2
@mjpnidhi
Hello there. Seeing as you are new here, welcome to the forum! I hope you find all of this feedback to be helpful for your writing endeavors.

First and foremost, the introductory paragraph had used a lot of complex terms that it sort of impeded the flow of your writing already. Notice how you were adding so many unnecessary extensions to the core message. While this is generally acceptable, it would enhance your writing if you focused solely on the details that are necessary. Doing this not only saves you the luxury of space - but this can also help you develop a more meaningful outlook for the rest of the text.

Furthermore, when trying to incorporate more concrete examples to your text, try your best to stick with only the critical details available. Doing this would help the readers understand the text in its entirety. Taking a look at your body paragraph (second and third), you had mostly hypothetical examples to back your thoughts and opinions. It would help shape your essay more if you had utilized real-life samples.


Home / Writing Feedback / The two way of measure a success; money and technical skills at a job field
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳