IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - UNEMPLOYMENT

The given bar chart gives information about five different countries in terms of the proportion of jobless individuals aged 15-24 and the total unemployment rate in 2005.
Overall, it is notable from the chart that unemployment among the young accounted for much higher percentages than that of overall unemployment in all countries. Additionally, both jobless rates in Poland recorded the highest figures, whereas Denmark has the lowest unemployment rate.

In 2005, Poland registered the highest unemployment rate of over 35%, which is two times higher than the total jobless rate. Italy and Hungary also mirrored the same pattern, albeit the percentages showed less disparities between the two rates, at 23% and 9% for Italy and 16% and 7% for Hungary, respectively.

In contrast to Poland, Denmark possessed the lowest percentage for both unemployment rates, with only around 6% of young people aged between 15-24 being jobless and 3% of the total population facing unemployment. Meanwhile, it can be seen that Germany's unemployment rate in the 15-24 age bracket is quite low, just higher than that of Denmark, which accounted for the lowest figures in the surveyed period. Its overall jobless percentage is ranked second, at exactly 10%.

Your report is difficult to read due to the lack of punctuation usage. The GRA score for this essay will be in the failing range since you are not using enough punctuation marks in the presentation to show that you have a varied ability to write simple, compound, and complex English sentences. You tend to write using the run-on method, which totally confuses your idea presentation. Each sentence must have a single reference or topic point, with a proper connecting format used to connect up tot 2 ideas in one sentence. You are relying heavily on the word "and" to connect these ideas, which led to the confusion in your presentation. Develop your sentence formatting skills to overcome this problem. Stick to writing simple, single idea sentences for now.