I am writing an essay on unfairness and how it is necessary for healthy development in life. I am fairly new to college, so I am anxious to hear what you guys think about my essay so far.
A Lesson in Unfairness: Shaping our Perspective
One thing that is learned fairly quickly during the span of one's life is that life is often unfair. Unfairness takes shape in many forms and in every corner of the world. Life seems unfair when I turn on the news and see that innocent people are killed every day, often just for the simple reason of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Life seems unfair when it seems that some people are just born into wealth and will never have to work a day in their lives, when it feels like I have had to work my whole life. This may be an unpleasant lesson to learn, but nonetheless, extremely important as it is integral to our emotional development and pursuit of happiness.
In "Before a Dog Can Eat..", John expresses the importance of teaching his newborn son to understand that unfairness in life is inevitable. He explains if it were not for the inequities of life, valuable growth and perspective would not be possible. "There is meaning in suffering, as difficult it is to endure. From it we learn humility and persistence. There is appreciation in abundance. From it we realize that life is full of grace as well." (65)
This quote rings true with me. Looking back on my life, the situations that made me who I am today are the situations where I struggled, and had to come up with a viable solution to fix them. These situations taught me that when faced with unfairness, I have a choice of how I respond to it. Some choose to take out their frustrations on others and refuse to take any responsibility for their own actions. Some will complain and whine, and allocate the blame for this injustice on every single possible thing other than themselves or their own actions, projecting their fear and unhappiness onto others.
If I chose to live my life following this train of thinking, it would be filled with anger and resentment. I have decided to attempt to find a silver lining, even in the most unfair situations, because I believe that every challenge faced is another opportunity to learn more about life and about myself.
In "A Lesson Before Dying", described in the very first scene of the book is the trial in which Jefferson is being tried for murdering a white man. (3) His court trial sets the tone of unfairness he experiences throughout the whole story. Jefferson and his family experience judicial unfairness, where he is supposed to be judged by a jury of his peers. Instead, he is judged by twelve white men who undoubtedly have a prejudiced point of view before even hearing the case, and most likely had convicted him in their minds before they were ordered to deliberate in the jury room.
He is not even given the benefit of being considered a man by his own defense lawyer, who instructs the jury to consider Jefferson a hog rather than a man, described as an animal that doesn't know any better. If Jefferson is expected to follow the laws that this nation sets just as everyone else, he should be afforded the same judicial courtesy as everyone else.
Experiences involving unfairness and deficiency force you to look at yourself, your life, and where you went wrong. The ability to look inward is a struggle within itself; however, this is where the most valuable lessons are learned. If every day was just as easy and problem free as the day before, when would necessary change happen? Why would we voluntarily choose to seek out our own weaknesses and ways we can improve them?
I was barely nineteen years old when I learned a harsh yet important lesson. I had just moved into my first apartment, an important milestone in a young adult's life. It was an exciting time as this was the first time I was living on my own and making my own rules. I had asked one of my good girlfriends to share the apartment with me, and we had a great time setting it all up and making plans about how to decorate everything and future parties we might have.
It was one of these parties that I was faced with the consequences of allowing everyone and anyone to join in the fun. After a couple hours, there were a number of people there that I did not know, however, not wanting to be a party pooper I thought, the more the merrier, right? While I was naively giggling away with my friends, I had barely noticed the group of policemen that casually came through my front door. The look of panic on everyone's faces eventually gave them away. Apparently, they had received a noise complaint from neighbors I hadn't yet had the pleasure to meet, and found it quite easy to enter the locked apartment building, due to the constant traffic in and out of the door.
I looked around the room and knew immediately that this was not going to be good. There was that familiar skunk smell in the air that sent my heart dropping into my stomach. Party goer's all around me were scattering like flies, and the handful of people that were left were ordered to freeze while the cops went around the living room finding some smoking instruments left behind. I learned that day that even if you do not partake in illegal activities or own any such devices, you will be hauled off to jail just as if you did, simply for being the sole lease holder of the apartment. I was being punished for something I did not do and at the time, this seemed unfair.
Thankfully, the experience of being handcuffed and driven down to the jail like any criminal was apparently deemed enough punishment. They allowed me to return home with the promise that I never throw any more parties and be more careful about who I let in my home. I believe they wanted to teach me a lesson, and in that aspect, they were successful. I learned that no matter where I choose to live, I am held responsible for anyone that I allow to enter my home. This transcended into a larger lesson for me, that becoming an adult means that with great freedom comes great responsibility. This continues to hold true with any obligation that I've been faced with such as bills that must be paid, jobs that I have accepted. If I sign up for it, then I get everything that comes with it. I have also become a bit wiser about who I choose to spend my time with.
The older I get, the more I realize that these times of unfairness, of bad luck or bad choices are only temporary, and just as quickly as these bad times came, they eventually will fade or go away. These trying times are when we learn the most, because we want to try our hardest to not have to experience them again. We learn red flags and warning signs. It also seems that it is these experiences that we remember boldly.
We are forced to learn because we want to return to that state of assuredness, of stability and comfort. When we witness something that is unfair, either to us or someone else, a sense of internal rage bubbles up and our sense of comfort becomes unsettled. We want to right the wrongs and bring back that sense of fairness and justice. Hopefully, these internal alerts are learned early in life, influenced by our environments and upbringing. Behavior is generally learned, and values like empathy are introduced to us by example, such as how our parents treat each other or how they choose to deal with situations involving other people. Excluding sociopaths, most people experience compassion for others, even complete strangers, and honestly care about trying to bring that sense of balance back into the world.
When you refuse to consider yourself or your own behavior as a possible reason things went wrong, it is practically inevitable that these problems will occur once again. The more aware you are of negative patterns that emerge in your life, the quicker and easier it becomes to find a solution.
The United States was created with the notion of fairness, built upon the idea that every man is created equal. Unfortunately, this nation has a dark history of injustice, starting with the mass slaughter of Native Americans while forcing them off of their own land and more currently, arguments of inequality are still being debated. Some current issues include equal pay for women for equal work or marriage equality for same-sex couples. These controversial topics are hot button issues at the moment, and it seems the divide between citizens with conflicting views grows larger every day.
A clear example includes the story of a Saudi teenage girl who was sentenced to 200 lashes and 6 months in prison after she experienced being gang raped. The courts there decided that she should be punished because she was a passenger in a car that was being driven by a man who was not a relative, at the time of the attack. Her offense was in meeting a former boyfriend, who she had asked return pictures of her because she was about to marry another man. They were sitting in a car when a group of 7 men kidnapped and raped them both. Her former boyfriend was also charged with 90 lashes for being with her in private.
The victims' lawyer, Abdul-Rahman al-Lahem, was also ordered to face disciplinary action after he spoke to the media about the original sentence. He declared, "My client is the victim of this abhorrent crime. I believe her sentence contravenes the Islamic Sharia law and violates the pertinent international conventions," he said. "The judicial bodies should have dealt with this girl as the victim rather than the culprit. The court blamed the girl for being alone with unrelated men, but it should have taken the humane view that it cannot be considered her fault."
Thankfully, perhaps due to the attention this act of injustice created and evolving attitudes towards equality, the court doubled the prison sentences for the rapists and pardoned the victims. It is often difficult for westerners to understand cultures with values and structure so different from ours. One thing we do understand is the clearly unfair repercussions the court originally doled out and action to be taken. The outcome of this case reflects the importance of being proactive when dealing with unfairness and injustice. The world cannot afford to be apathetic.
We are defined by our choices in life and how we choose to respond to negativity or difficult times. We all have a responsibility to humanity to continue to uphold the ideals of fairness and actively pursue acts of injustice. The world is far from perfect and neither am I, however, if you can choose to look at situations involving unfairness with a little bit of humor and perspective, it will surely make the long road of life a lot less rocky.
REFERENCES
O'Hurley, John. Before Your Dog Can Eat Your Homework, First You Have to Do It: Life Lessons from a Wise Old Dog to a Young Boy. New York: Hudson Street, 2007. Print.
Gaines, Ernest J. A Lesson before Dying. New York: A. A. Knopf, 1993. Print.
Setrakian, Lara. "Exclusive: Saudi Rape Victim Tells Her Story." Abcnew.go.com. N.p., 21 Nov. 2007. Web. <abcnews.go.com/international/story?id=3899920>.
A Lesson in Unfairness: Shaping our Perspective
One thing that is learned fairly quickly during the span of one's life is that life is often unfair. Unfairness takes shape in many forms and in every corner of the world. Life seems unfair when I turn on the news and see that innocent people are killed every day, often just for the simple reason of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Life seems unfair when it seems that some people are just born into wealth and will never have to work a day in their lives, when it feels like I have had to work my whole life. This may be an unpleasant lesson to learn, but nonetheless, extremely important as it is integral to our emotional development and pursuit of happiness.
In "Before a Dog Can Eat..", John expresses the importance of teaching his newborn son to understand that unfairness in life is inevitable. He explains if it were not for the inequities of life, valuable growth and perspective would not be possible. "There is meaning in suffering, as difficult it is to endure. From it we learn humility and persistence. There is appreciation in abundance. From it we realize that life is full of grace as well." (65)
This quote rings true with me. Looking back on my life, the situations that made me who I am today are the situations where I struggled, and had to come up with a viable solution to fix them. These situations taught me that when faced with unfairness, I have a choice of how I respond to it. Some choose to take out their frustrations on others and refuse to take any responsibility for their own actions. Some will complain and whine, and allocate the blame for this injustice on every single possible thing other than themselves or their own actions, projecting their fear and unhappiness onto others.
If I chose to live my life following this train of thinking, it would be filled with anger and resentment. I have decided to attempt to find a silver lining, even in the most unfair situations, because I believe that every challenge faced is another opportunity to learn more about life and about myself.
In "A Lesson Before Dying", described in the very first scene of the book is the trial in which Jefferson is being tried for murdering a white man. (3) His court trial sets the tone of unfairness he experiences throughout the whole story. Jefferson and his family experience judicial unfairness, where he is supposed to be judged by a jury of his peers. Instead, he is judged by twelve white men who undoubtedly have a prejudiced point of view before even hearing the case, and most likely had convicted him in their minds before they were ordered to deliberate in the jury room.
He is not even given the benefit of being considered a man by his own defense lawyer, who instructs the jury to consider Jefferson a hog rather than a man, described as an animal that doesn't know any better. If Jefferson is expected to follow the laws that this nation sets just as everyone else, he should be afforded the same judicial courtesy as everyone else.
Experiences involving unfairness and deficiency force you to look at yourself, your life, and where you went wrong. The ability to look inward is a struggle within itself; however, this is where the most valuable lessons are learned. If every day was just as easy and problem free as the day before, when would necessary change happen? Why would we voluntarily choose to seek out our own weaknesses and ways we can improve them?
I was barely nineteen years old when I learned a harsh yet important lesson. I had just moved into my first apartment, an important milestone in a young adult's life. It was an exciting time as this was the first time I was living on my own and making my own rules. I had asked one of my good girlfriends to share the apartment with me, and we had a great time setting it all up and making plans about how to decorate everything and future parties we might have.
It was one of these parties that I was faced with the consequences of allowing everyone and anyone to join in the fun. After a couple hours, there were a number of people there that I did not know, however, not wanting to be a party pooper I thought, the more the merrier, right? While I was naively giggling away with my friends, I had barely noticed the group of policemen that casually came through my front door. The look of panic on everyone's faces eventually gave them away. Apparently, they had received a noise complaint from neighbors I hadn't yet had the pleasure to meet, and found it quite easy to enter the locked apartment building, due to the constant traffic in and out of the door.
I looked around the room and knew immediately that this was not going to be good. There was that familiar skunk smell in the air that sent my heart dropping into my stomach. Party goer's all around me were scattering like flies, and the handful of people that were left were ordered to freeze while the cops went around the living room finding some smoking instruments left behind. I learned that day that even if you do not partake in illegal activities or own any such devices, you will be hauled off to jail just as if you did, simply for being the sole lease holder of the apartment. I was being punished for something I did not do and at the time, this seemed unfair.
Thankfully, the experience of being handcuffed and driven down to the jail like any criminal was apparently deemed enough punishment. They allowed me to return home with the promise that I never throw any more parties and be more careful about who I let in my home. I believe they wanted to teach me a lesson, and in that aspect, they were successful. I learned that no matter where I choose to live, I am held responsible for anyone that I allow to enter my home. This transcended into a larger lesson for me, that becoming an adult means that with great freedom comes great responsibility. This continues to hold true with any obligation that I've been faced with such as bills that must be paid, jobs that I have accepted. If I sign up for it, then I get everything that comes with it. I have also become a bit wiser about who I choose to spend my time with.
The older I get, the more I realize that these times of unfairness, of bad luck or bad choices are only temporary, and just as quickly as these bad times came, they eventually will fade or go away. These trying times are when we learn the most, because we want to try our hardest to not have to experience them again. We learn red flags and warning signs. It also seems that it is these experiences that we remember boldly.
We are forced to learn because we want to return to that state of assuredness, of stability and comfort. When we witness something that is unfair, either to us or someone else, a sense of internal rage bubbles up and our sense of comfort becomes unsettled. We want to right the wrongs and bring back that sense of fairness and justice. Hopefully, these internal alerts are learned early in life, influenced by our environments and upbringing. Behavior is generally learned, and values like empathy are introduced to us by example, such as how our parents treat each other or how they choose to deal with situations involving other people. Excluding sociopaths, most people experience compassion for others, even complete strangers, and honestly care about trying to bring that sense of balance back into the world.
When you refuse to consider yourself or your own behavior as a possible reason things went wrong, it is practically inevitable that these problems will occur once again. The more aware you are of negative patterns that emerge in your life, the quicker and easier it becomes to find a solution.
The United States was created with the notion of fairness, built upon the idea that every man is created equal. Unfortunately, this nation has a dark history of injustice, starting with the mass slaughter of Native Americans while forcing them off of their own land and more currently, arguments of inequality are still being debated. Some current issues include equal pay for women for equal work or marriage equality for same-sex couples. These controversial topics are hot button issues at the moment, and it seems the divide between citizens with conflicting views grows larger every day.
A clear example includes the story of a Saudi teenage girl who was sentenced to 200 lashes and 6 months in prison after she experienced being gang raped. The courts there decided that she should be punished because she was a passenger in a car that was being driven by a man who was not a relative, at the time of the attack. Her offense was in meeting a former boyfriend, who she had asked return pictures of her because she was about to marry another man. They were sitting in a car when a group of 7 men kidnapped and raped them both. Her former boyfriend was also charged with 90 lashes for being with her in private.
The victims' lawyer, Abdul-Rahman al-Lahem, was also ordered to face disciplinary action after he spoke to the media about the original sentence. He declared, "My client is the victim of this abhorrent crime. I believe her sentence contravenes the Islamic Sharia law and violates the pertinent international conventions," he said. "The judicial bodies should have dealt with this girl as the victim rather than the culprit. The court blamed the girl for being alone with unrelated men, but it should have taken the humane view that it cannot be considered her fault."
Thankfully, perhaps due to the attention this act of injustice created and evolving attitudes towards equality, the court doubled the prison sentences for the rapists and pardoned the victims. It is often difficult for westerners to understand cultures with values and structure so different from ours. One thing we do understand is the clearly unfair repercussions the court originally doled out and action to be taken. The outcome of this case reflects the importance of being proactive when dealing with unfairness and injustice. The world cannot afford to be apathetic.
We are defined by our choices in life and how we choose to respond to negativity or difficult times. We all have a responsibility to humanity to continue to uphold the ideals of fairness and actively pursue acts of injustice. The world is far from perfect and neither am I, however, if you can choose to look at situations involving unfairness with a little bit of humor and perspective, it will surely make the long road of life a lot less rocky.
REFERENCES
O'Hurley, John. Before Your Dog Can Eat Your Homework, First You Have to Do It: Life Lessons from a Wise Old Dog to a Young Boy. New York: Hudson Street, 2007. Print.
Gaines, Ernest J. A Lesson before Dying. New York: A. A. Knopf, 1993. Print.
Setrakian, Lara. "Exclusive: Saudi Rape Victim Tells Her Story." Abcnew.go.com. N.p., 21 Nov. 2007. Web. <abcnews.go.com/international/story?id=3899920>.