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IELTS essay-unhealthy diet and do not enough exercise


melodybai 1 / -  
Jan 2, 2011   #1
[Topic]
Nowadays people have unhealthy diet and do not enough exercise, what is the reason in your opinion?

[Answer]
Humans health become a talking point at present. In order to have a healthy physical conditions people from all over the world face the similar problem that they have unhealthy diet and do not have enough exercise. As far as i am concerned, there are two folds as follows.

Firstly, with the rapid pace of social development, it is so convenient to anyone to have a delicious meal. Only thing they will do is just go to a restaurant and order any yummy as long as they have enough budget. For instant, there are quite a lot of fast food interlock restaurants such as Mcdonald and KFC. They server various fast food such French fries and cheeseburgers which have better taste but high in fat and heat. People who had those high calorie diet will easy to become overweight. Unfortunately, most youngsters are really crazy for those and even ask for their parents to consume those junk food as often as possible. As a result, terrible illnesses such as obesity, heart-disease and diabetes become much more prevalent among those younger generations.

Secondly, most people are too busy to have any exercise rather than they are not prefer to. Highly social development with significant pressures which are always from various areas such as live and study, Take students for example, those who want to pursuing more knowledgeable and successful would have to spend more time on study. What is worse, nowadays nearly all of elementary and secondary school are over focus on make higher education entrance ratio, and lots of students are now suffering from those pressures. So they really do not have any time to go outside and do some exercise even on holidays. So as to adults, who are facing up the extreme pressures not only from their jobs but also from their family and further studies.

All in all, overweight and lacking of exercise have been starting to threaten humans health. And it is very time for all of us to keep ourselves healthy, that is to say, to squeeze limited time to go outside and enjoy a nutritious meal with family or friends.
dumi 1 / 7,022 1592  
Jan 3, 2011   #2
Hi,

Humans health has become atalking point at presentone of the main concerns today .

In order to have a healthy physical conditions people from all over the world face the similar problem that they have unhealthy diet and do not have enough exercise. -------------This sentence is too long and your idea does not flow properly. I guess what you try to say is;

Unhealthy food habits and lack of physical exercises seem to be very common issues that are experienced by the people all around the globe..-------It is important that you give reasons why people have restored to such bad habits; fast lives, stress, media. Then only you can reinforce your idea.
riny 13 / 26  
Jan 7, 2011   #3
Humans health has become ...when you talk about the time (present) you have to use the parfect tense.

In order to haveacheive or gaina healthy physical conditions, people from all over the world should addres facethe similar problems that they havesuch as unhealthy diet and do not have enougha lack of exercise.

this sentence is a bit too long...

suffisient vocabularies and good structure!



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