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In university, we can augment our knowledge; why go to university?



abcdefgh 5 / 21  
Mar 6, 2013   #1
Why go to university

In The past time, if someone was determined to be trained his\
Her own interested job, he\she had to find one expert job. The problem was that, one had to cope with a possibility issue arising from it. Otherwise they should ignore to pursue his\her own dream.

Today, having an interested job is not inaccessible dream because of university. There are personality and generally goals for university education. The following paragraph, I give my personal reason.

First, we can be trained and educated in our interest subject. In university, we can augment our knowledge, acquire practical experience and get familiar with how to encounter and solve our job requirement. Unfortunately, some student study systemically. It causes that, after graduation we only get degree on university not more things.

The Second most important reason, with higher education, we can easily enter to business world. Most company prefers to hire educated individuals. The university education is an efficient and effective way to create improvement and development in our financial life. Nearly, it can diminish finding job problem.

Third, higher university education creates value in society for you. This value doesn't depend to your degree. In reality, your accomplishment in developed character and job skill create this value. University is where Along with studying, you enhance your self confidence, improve and expand your social skills and contact; it helps us to raise our awareness of ourselves and surrounding and gives us a fresh and different perspective.

Finally, I attended university for myself. Not this that society says me or my parents encourages me. The University has given me apparent advantages; these encompass studying in my favorite subject, working in my favorit job and having value in society. Now, I prosper and will prosper in my job, observe a brilliant future for my life due of going to university.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 7, 2013   #2
What's the purpose of this essay? Is it a common app question or an essay you have written for IELTS or TOEFL practice? Better tell us, so that we can align our comments with your purpose :)

In The past time , if someone was determined to be trained in his\her own interested job, he\she had to find one expert job.

.... This sentence does not give a clear idea about what you really mean.

Today, having an interested job is not inaccessible dream because of university.

.... this idea you can tell in a more simple, yet interesting way;
Today, it is not very difficult for one to pursue his or her dream career because of easy accessibility to the universities.
Overall, I think you should come up with better arguments... You can google and find many good points for this essay.
OP abcdefgh 5 / 21  
Mar 7, 2013   #3
hello dumi my essay is for tofel. please edit and check it. how can me improve my writting? now, i try to study more article. in your idea , what is my score in tofel? i need to hear your suggestion for improvement. thank you so so so so so much
dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 8, 2013   #4
Alright... Good to know that.... When you post your TOEFL essays mention that and also include your prompt. That would help you grab attention of other people more. Also, post them under "Writing Feedback" category.


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