Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


TASK 2 : Some university want to learn another subjects in addition to their main subjects, believes



dtun_hi 2 / 2  
Jun 22, 2023   #1
Task 2 :
Some University students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all the time and attention to studying for a qualification.


Discuss both these views and give your opinion.



Apart from a major in college, undergraduates also have a demand for learning additional subjects, whereas another view is that they must completely devote themselves to their study to get a degree. Although I acknowledge the ideal of the latter statement, I will argue that students should learn more than one subject in the university.

It is no exaggeration to say that qualifications play an indispensable role to get a well-paid job for every student, so it is unquestionable that a student spends all the dedication and determination doing research and acquiring knowledge to get a degree as soon as he or she can. The people accomplishing a higher education with a qualified degree at a young age also can save a lot of time and the cost of tutor fees, consequently having a chance to get access to experience in a working environment so that the path to success can become more easy. Therefore, paying all attention to studying for a degree can help students shorten the time studying higher education and presents an opportunity for them to make money when they are still young.

On the other hand, to survive in hard working places, people need more than a good qualification, as it requires several factors, so students should learn other subjects from the time when they were in university. This means, however, they did not need to study subjects in terms of academic fields but related to social skills. For example, undergraduates can choose to learn many musical courses to be able to play any music instruments, or they should practice the capacity of giving a present, adapting to an innovative methodology, all of this will definitely make them become out-standing employees in the company. Thus, they will be retained in many prestigious businesses, staying at high positions in society.

In conclusion, although the concentration on studying to get a degree as soon as possible will give students many benefits in terms of time and finance, studying additional subjects is still an essential choice that college students should not ignore.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15469  
Jun 23, 2023   #2
The discussion format is incorrect. You have written the essay only from your personal point of view. The comparison between your personal insight and the public opinion has not been presented. Therefore, the examiner will be scoring you based upon a less than developed written debate presentation. Without the public opinion explanation prior to your opinion, the discussion does not achieve the balance that is expected of it. You have to debate both sides of the discussion and then present your opinion. You cannot present solely your opinion as that defeats the purpose of the clues presented in the original prompt that refer to 2 other public mindsets that need to be considered in the presentation. Compare and contrast those with your personal opinion next time.
tung126 2 / 3  
Jun 26, 2023   #3
Try getting your topic sentence (the first sentences in 2 body paragraphs) concise.

Great work btw!
thuthao19321 2 / 4  
Jun 27, 2023   #4
the first sentence of para 2 is too complicated


Home / Writing Feedback / TASK 2 : Some university want to learn another subjects in addition to their main subjects, believes
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳