University places for a large number of youngsters

IELTS TASK 2: It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people.

To what extend do you agree or disagree.

KEY:
It is said that enabling a large number of youngsters to receive tertiary education is not only unrealistic but also does no good to a country. From my point of view, I completely disagree with this idea.

To begin with, granting numerous young people higher education is feasible for various reasons. First of all, nowadays students only need a laptop and stable internet connection to get access to higher education thanks to great advances in technology. Therefore, the university cost will be reduced considerably, which makes it more approachable to most young people. And with the help of technology, higher education can be easily given to people living in far-off land. Second, the high demand for tertiary education also encourages new private institutions to be set up to accomodate the large number of students. For that reason, there will be numerous places available for youngsters in university.

In addition, a country can benefit from a considerable number of university students in myriads ways. As more people go to colleges, a country's workforce could be bettered enormously, especially in the academic field. This is mainly because tertiary education equips young people with advanced knowledge and proper social skills needed to function efficiently in different working environments. An increase in university students may cause economic imbalance as fewer people will be willing to do blue-collar jobs. However, with a highly-educated workforce, new ideas and innovations will constantly appear to solve those kinds of problems.

In conclusion, I believe that providing access to university education for almost all young people is both practical and beneficial for a country.

While the essay is relatively well composed, the tendency of the writer to present a secondary reason in his paragraphs proves to be the weak point of the written presentation. The topic sentences and explanations always come in strong at the start of the paragraph. The explanations create a coherent and well developed discussion. Then, a second reasoning topic is introduced in the paragraph. The second reason is weakly presented and always lacking in terms of strong discussion development. Due to the lackluster presentation of the 2nd discussion point, that portion is rendered lacking in proper discussion development. If a secondary topic cannot strongly relate to the previous discussion presentation, then it should be replaced with a supporting topic or not at all.

For example, in the piust reason, the majority of the discussion relates to distance learning vvia technology. The second reason relates to more physical universities being set-up. A non - requirement under digital education. There is a sudden loss of discussion connection between topics. Either replace the and reasson or remove it due to inrelevance to the previous discussion.