Unreal movies are not worth watching - Toefl essay writing

Topic: Movies are worth watching only when they teach us something about real life

People often think that movie are too stupid to watch or they even think that spending time 2-3 hours watching a movie is a lot of work and a waste of time I strongly disagree with the statement. Think about it, when you were little most of you watched a lots of animations, Disney's and any other kinds of movies. And the kids actually learn how to manage thinking about their future life and wonders how would their life will be by having a prince who saves you from death, fall in love with someone and happily ever after. These are actually earned by watching all those movies while you're a child. Movies are worth watching for us. But than why people still think that watching a movie is a lot of work and a waste of time? I often think that people tend to not to have a excitements of what they are going watch. For example before watching a movie or either beginning of the movie people tend to imagine how would the ending would be, and they are too judgmental to them selves. Some may think that if it's related to real life and teach us something through them are worth watching a movie. But then how about the other movies ? People still watch them for fun. Every other kind of movies has something to do with their life or might be a conversation between people or a topic of a conversation. What I think is movies are worth watching neither teaching something about a real life or not because even though if it isn't about teaching about real life it still gives us an opportunity for us to have some kind of imagination that you can share with by watching a movie.

I think you should organize your sentences in a paragraph with topic sentence, evidence and examples. Sorry but, when I was reading it, I get lost in your essay.

Yes.... I too agree.... You need to follow a proper essay structure.

Thank you for your descriptive response to my essay I will redo it by based on what you wrote on the website :)

Movies are worth watching for us .


.... this sentence is not at all clear :( You need to improve its clarity.
This is what I suggest;
However, some people still hold the view that watching a movie is waste of time.


.... I really cannot understand this idea. Well, I think you need to pay attention to grammar and sentence construction. Follow the structure dumi suggested to you. Do more essays and post them here. I will try my best to provide you with my feedbacks :) Also, read others' essays that are written on similar threads. It's another effective way of improving your writing skills and especially to gain good marks at the TOEFL. :)

I wrote another essay about believing in luck or work hard fro earn something you want.

Have any of you thought about earning something with your luck? wishing to get your object by believing in luck is not always right. But by achieving what you want by putting your effort in, than the story will be change. However people still do wish on their luck, but I strongly suggest to earn something by hard work not only with a luck.

Firstly people are thinking too much attention to a thing called a luck. For example your test during classes some people are prepared to get a high marks for it but some people are trusting in their luck and by not studying them hoping for them to get at least 60% of their marks. Think about it seriously by getting over 60% by studying them and get it perfectly or just trusting in their luck and hoping their marks to be over 60%. I would rather choose an opportunity to study and get the exact mark I wish to have.

Secondary many people are upses with lottery.A lots of people spend their money to get a million of money from their luck. But the people who wins that lottery are 1% of people. Therefore wishing their luck and by earning money might sometime be wrong people ends up spending hundred of thousand of money in to lottery. I will rather work hard and earn lots of money.

Thirdly people often say that putting an effort to something will always mean something.For example if you are working o a project at your work and you are the leader of the group. If you work hard and try to get something you want. Your boss will think you as an hard working employee which might lead you to an more successful job. Or a important roll to their company.

Although believing in luck is good. But everything isn't just a thing to believe on a luck. There are things that you do not want to trust on a luck.Therefore I strongly agree with the statement of hardworking rather than a luck which sometimes disappoints you,

Hey.... open a fresh thread for this. You cannot post more than one essay in one thread as I understand. Be careful, if you violate forum rules they may suspend you. Open a new thread and copy paste this one in it. Make sure you include the purpose (I guess it is TOEFL) and the prompt there because they matter a lot for us to provide you good comments. I will surely give my comments once you do this. :)