An IELTS essay. The use of CCTV ( close circuit television) cameras in streets, stations, shops and other public places has increased rapidly in recent years.
Although we are told that yhese cameras help in the fight against crime, some people are opposed to their use. They believe that everyone has a right to privacy.
What are your views?
Safety of people, especially in publis places, is an importNt point in any country. Increasing level of crime obliged governments to create though measures in which people can be peaceful and tranquil for their lives. One of this measures is called "close circuit television".
CCTV cameras have become one of the most spread kinds of measures against crimes. Nowadays, there seem not to be any place, where CCTV cameras are not used. Tehre are also different opinions related to this sort of safety. Fitstly, considering positive sides of circuit television. For insstance, woman had gone to the shopping mall, where she suddenly realised that her bag was stolen. She immeadiately calls to police and explains bad occasion happened to her. Without CCTV cameras, it would have taken a long time to find a thief. It is not the only situation that may occur with people. However, the are some people, who are oppsed to use of CCTV cameras. Presumably, it worth mentioning that every person had a right to private life, without "spying" cameras on every corner of the street and close to every supermarket. However in the case if people imagine themselves in that woman's shoes, they will not be in negative thoughts of CCTV cameras.
Finally, I want to emphasize that only when people in our society will change their minds and cease robbering and hurting each other, no CCTV cameras and no tough measures will be needed.
Your essay seems to be too short for this task. You need to pay attention to the essay structure. Generally it is recommended to follow the four para structure - Introduction, two body paras and the conclusion.
In the introduction, introduce your topic and express your view on the argument. Then give reasons and examples for your opinion in the body paras. Finally sum up everything in the conclusion :)
Dumi, thanks a lot for your opinion! Yes, I think it's too short because I wrote it in 20 minutes(
Did you check your essay before sending?
Why are you asking me this?.. Is it sooo awful??
No.... it's not :) It seems that you have good writing skills and you have a great potential to go for a good score if you improve the essay structure. Your problem is that you don't seem to have understood the expected essay structure of this task. I think if you pay attention to the structure, everything would soon fall in line. Read the following essays to get a knack of this structure. Keep practicing and you'll surely improve more and more. :) Don't have any hesitation to post your practice essays here; we are willing to provide you feedback that would definitely help you progress : )
Oh thanks u a lot! just followed all links! And sorry, that previous comment of dopq01 made me feel awkward :)
