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The use of mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries and shops. (Dis)agree?



thutran 1 / -  
Jul 22, 2024   #1
Some individuals are of the claim that there should be a ban on the use of smartphones while users are in public places such as libraries or shops. From my point of view, I partly agree with this suggestion based on some major reasons that are explained in this essay.
On the one hand, there are some persuasive rationales that support the claim that the ban on using cell phones should be implemented. In this day and age , some public places are constructed for the needs of the majority of residents, this is the reason why these places consist of a lot of people. The use of mobile phones can disturb others while people who have access to the Internet watch vides or something being too loud . This can distract other's attention from doing their own tasks which can make others feel uncomfortable, especially in some places that require silence like libraries.
On the other hand, despite the inconvenience of using smartphones in public areas, they may not be idealistic to ban their use in public spaces. Smartphones help users search and look for information in a quick way . For instance, while studying in libraries, given the large words to look up , using a dictionary on a smartphone helps learners look up words more accurately and quickly. As a result, this can make great progress for students.
In conclusion, although there are mixed opinions on determining whether smart phones should be banned in public spaces, I think that users need to use them in a proper way in order not to disturb other people as well as meet their own demand .

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15460  
Jul 25, 2024   #2
This essay meets the word requirement, but not the formatting of the page. There should be spaces between paragraphs to indicate the start of a new discussion series. You should have a total of 4 paragraphs in this presentation. The writer's opinion is clear, but the lack of a basis for the thesis statement will lower the score for that section of the paragraph. It does not fully meet the task accuracy requirements for the presentation.

Being a single opinion essay, you must present 2 reasons that will strongly support your line of thought or point of view. You must never defend both sides of the discussion since that will cause you to fail the final TA score based on an unclear writer's opinion. The review of the examiner for this essay will be that it fails to meet the clarity of opinion requirements. Your reasoning is under developed because you have only 1 supporting paragraph when there is an expectation of 2 supporting paragraphs. The essay may not get a passing score once the major discussion considerations are given their respective scores.


Home / Writing Feedback / The use of mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries and shops. (Dis)agree?
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