IELTS Writing Task 1 - The use of water by four different countries (%)

The table below shows water use for different purposes in four countries.

My answer:
The table gives information about the amount of water used for three different sectors in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, New Zealand, and Canada.

Overall, in Egypt and Saudi Arabia, the vast majority of water is used for agriculture. In addition, among the four countries, the domestic and industrial sectors consume the highest amount of water in Canada.

As can be seen from the table, in Canda, 20% of water is used for the domestic sector. By contrast, in Egypt and Saudi Arabia, domestic water uses consume 8% and 6% of the total amount of water, respectively. Regarding industry, the amounts of water used in four countries account for 10% (Egypt), 30% (Saudi Arabia), 46% (New Zealand), and 70% (Canada).

According to the table, in Egypt and Saudi Arabia, the vast majority of water is used for agriculture, taking up 82% and 64%, respectively. However, in Canada, the agricultural sector consumes only a small amount of water, representing 10%.

Hello everybody! Is there anybody who can correct my IELTS Writing Task 1 report above? You can evaluate my writing in IELTS band scores if you are able to do this. Thank you very much!

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The summary is incomplete. The sector divisions should be listed to help add clarity to the references in the trending statement. Thes should be mentioned separately, before the same mentions in the trending statement. Yes, it may seem repetitive, but that is how the best outlines for the task 1 essays are designed. The summary is too important to leave to chance. It is a large percentage of your final score. The varying measurement presentation is good and should help boost your score. However, in the final paragraph, you did not cover all of the countries in the report so that was not a very informative presentation. You should have used at least 4 sentences to make that a better source of information.

Thanks for your feedback. I've made some changes to my report as below:
"The table gives information about the amount of water used for three different sectors (domestic use, industry, and agriculture) in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, New Zealand, and Canada.

[...] According to the table, in Egypt, the vast majority of water is used for agriculture, taking up 82%. This is followed by 64% of the water that is used for this sector in Saudi Arabia. However, in Canada, the agricultural sector consumes only a small amount of water, representing 10%. Furthermore, in New Zealand, the amount of water used for agriculture takes up 44% of the total."