Unanswered [13] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


Water Use in Gulf Countries 2000 - Task 1 IELTS Writing


jomul01 14 / 14 1  
Sep 2, 2016   #1
Water Use in Gulf Countries 2000

The bar chart illustrates the usage of water for different purposes in six countries in 2000 and is measured in percentage. Overall, it is evident that, with the exception of Bahrain and Kuwait, the major purpose of water use in four Middle-East countries was for agriculture.

Qatar consumed water nearly 60% for agriculture, while domestic purpose was only a half of it. UAE also used up most of water for agriculture and its domestic purpose was only more than a half of cultivation. Both Oman and Saudi Arabia shared similar pattern, they used water predominantly for agriculture with approximately 82% although its domestic usage was only a minority. Several countries in Arabian Gulf used less of water for industry.

Turning to the countries that used most of water for domestic. Bahrain consumed nearly 55% of its water for domestic. This was followed by agriculture which was not slightly different. Approximately 20% of water in Kuwait was used for agriculture. On the other hand, in Kuwait, water usage for domestic was three times as much water as farming purpose.



spachelord 1 / 5 1  
Sep 2, 2016   #2
The bar chart illustrates the usage of water ...
Good observations.

Qatar consumed water nearly 60% for agriculture (...)
Perhaps some implications or your own thoughts? What do you think about incorporating your own hypothesis into why this pattern exists?

(...) Approximately 20% of water in Kuwait was used for agriculture. (...)
Again, perhaps there's a pattern here [I.E., is Kuwait a more agricultural country, you suppose?] that you might want to address?
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Sep 3, 2016   #3
Hi Sony.
These are my thoughts to boost your score in this section.


Overall, it is evident that, with the exception of Bahrain ...
OVERALL, IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT OMAN AND SAUDI ARABIA CONSUMED THE WATER AS MUCH AS VIRTUALLY THE SAME LEVEL FOR THREE DISTINCT CATEGORIES. IN ANY CASE, WHILE THE DOMESTIC SECTOR WAS CONSIDERED AS THE FIRST BY BAHRAIN AND KUWAIT PLACE FOR SUPPLYING THE WATER, OTHER COUNTRIES TENDED TO HARNESS THE WATER TO ENCOURAGE ACTIVITIES OF THE AGRICULTURE.

I offer the alternative sentences for the overview. You should create 2 sentences in this part so that your introduction consists of three sentences. It is essential that you compare the figures.

Qatar consumed water nearly 60% for THE agriculture, (...) only a half of it AS MUCH. UAE also used up most of THE water for THE agriculture and its ...

... Arabia shared similar patternS, they used water predominantly ...
... Gulf used less of water for THE industry.

... that used most of THE water for THE domestic. ... 55% of its water for THE domestic. This was followed by THE agriculture which ...
Approximately 20% of SUPPLYING water in Kuwait ...
... water usage for THE domestic was three times ...

Cool dude, pay attention to use of the article (A/An/The).
I believe you will show better progress if you wanna practice again and again. Following that, you review the examples of task 1 so that you can learn the sense of task 1.

Keep spirit.
GOOD LUCK
:D


Home / Writing Feedback / Water Use in Gulf Countries 2000 - Task 1 IELTS Writing
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳