Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


The usefulness of some electronic devices as an instrument for exchanging information between people



Trisulastri 27 / 17  
Mar 28, 2016   #1
The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationship between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


In this modern era, electronic devices have become one of the basic needs of people life from different socioeconomic status. The main reason of this dependency is the usefulness of this device as an instrument for exchanging information between people. These days, people rely on too much with electronic media, which is show both sides as a coin, and I believe that it brings more negative effect on relationship between people in the real worlds.

The advancement of technology, particularly on the invention of electronic devices in many countries, is expanding rapidly. This improvement affected people's life positively, especially for the relationship of people who lived in a distance. Smartphone and laptop that connected to the internet are very useful to those people because it acts as connector for transferring information, even they can stare at each other through the application on their devices, such as web camera or Skype. The soldiers, for instance, feel the greatest benefits of smartphone, since they work in a very long distance from their family. It is evidence that bonds and relationships between family members or relatives can be maintained for the benefit of the technologist.

Despite of its powerful advantages, advanced technology also leads to decline in relationship of people which interact directly with them. People these days use their high-tech devices, such as smartphone in every time and conditions. This make people become insensitive with the state of their surrounded, because they only focusing its attention to stare at their gadget. In particular conditions, the usage of smartphone can restrict people intention to build a new relationship with the strangers. The body language of people who have always looked down at the phone screen is often regarded as a refusal or neglect by others. In addition, psychologist from Groningen University reveals information that playing too much with electronic devices, particularly which can connect to the internet create wider gap with their close acquaintance. Even if they were in the same place, people tend to be busy with their gadgets, because they consider social media is more interesting than talking in real life

To conclude, despite of the using of electronic media for gaining information and connecting people, I strongly believe that technology advances bring detrimental effect in personal relationship between people in daily live.

yonathan66 30 / 27  
Mar 28, 2016   #2
Hello Miss Astri. I have suggestion for you. I hope it can help you. Thank you

1st Paragraph

which is show both sides as a coin => let me give you alternative for this => which is shows both positive and negative side, just like a coin.

3rd Paragraph

This make people become insensitive with the state of their surrounded, because they only focusing its attention to stare at their gadget. => this make people become less sensitive with their surrounded as they focus on their gadget only.


Home / Writing Feedback / The usefulness of some electronic devices as an instrument for exchanging information between people
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳