Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


Using cell phone while driving should be banned



farzan23 3 / 5  
Jan 6, 2013   #1
Cell Phone While Driving

In today's world, cell phone made peoples life easier as we can do many things with it such as text messaging, receiving phone calls, or surfing websites to get in touch with people. Almost everyone has appeared to carry one of these devices. But with technology growing rapidly cell phone isn't becoming only useful but becoming more dangerous and putting people's life at risk. And one of the most dangerous sides of the cell phone is using it while driving. The research is beginning to show that driving while simply talking on a cell phone had caused a lot of accident in the following year. Though, according to this research don't you think that using cell phone while driving should be banned?

Using cell phone while driving slows the reaction time. A study at the University of Utah that was published in the journal "Psychological Science" stated that "people who had conversations on any type of cell phone were twice as likely to hit the person in front of them, braked slowly and accelerated slower after braking." Which, cell phone is the significant distraction that causes accidents.

In the same way, driving should be prohibited due to the fact that it can be life threatening for many drivers and put other people's life in danger. According to the statistics, it has proven that "In 2011, 31.2 people are killed every day, and 11,388 are killed every year by the drivers who used cell phones while driving, in the U.S." This represents that using cell phone while driving is a risky business which will cause not just killing themselves but killing other people.

Furthermore, In 2010 Cell phone was the major distraction to drivers. Drivers who used cell phone for example texting they've been most likely looking over the phone than the road and can take away a life in a blank of eye. The National Traffic Safety Institute stated in its report that, "In 2009, 5,474 people were killed in the U.S. because of texting and not looking over the road that distracted driving and another 448,000 were injured." As a result it will cause a serious accident in the time being.

I know that cell phones are dangerous to use while driving but people are already aware of it how dangerous it is. But, according to researches and statistics lots of people have died due to using cell phone while driving and seeing that no one has obeyed the law.

So if you want everyone to be safe and to enjoy their life with less death, write a letter and sign it and send it to state to ban using cell phones while driving at all times.

PLEASE CAN YOU CHECK IF I HAVE ANY GRAMMAR PROBLEM! THANKS :)

cinderss 2 / 3  
Jan 6, 2013   #2
you say "in a blank of an eye"
shouldn't it say "in a blink of an eye"?

overall this is very well written!
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 7, 2013   #3
In today's world, cell phone made peoples life easier as we can do many things with it such as text messaging, receiving phone calls, or surfing websites to get in touch with people.

When you say "todays world" it gives the impression that you talk of something that is currently happening. So, you better talk in present tense;

In today's world, cell phones make our lives easier by offering convenient and efficient communication solutions such as mobile communication, text messaging, accessing internet etc.
OP farzan23 3 / 5  
Jan 15, 2013   #4
Thank you for helping.

However, in this sentence, I feel like there is some problem which I cant think of it. Could you guys please help me out? Thanks

Using cell phone while driving delays reaction and braking time. A study at the University of Utah that was published in the journal "Psychological Science" stated that "people who had conversations on any type of cell phone were twice as likely to hit the person in front of them, braked slowly and accelerated slower after breaking." Which, cell phone is the significant distraction that causes accidents.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 15, 2013   #5
Using cell phone while driving delays reaction and braking time.

... well, this sounds like an example. So you should have this to follow your reason. Therefore I suggest you start your para like;
It is dangerous to drive while talking to someone on phone because such conversations distracts the driver's concentration on driving . .... this is your reason and now come with the example;

A study at the University of Utah that was published in the journal "Psychological Science" stated that "people who had conversations on any type of cell phone were twice as likely to hit the person in front of them, braked slowly and accelerated slower after breaking." Which, cell phone is the significant distraction that causes accidents.

With that you write an excellent body para :)
OP farzan23 3 / 5  
Jan 17, 2013   #6
dumi

Thank you so much for responding. However, in the first sentence I wanted to use something about slows reaction because that is one of my reason. So what do you think I can say?


Home / Writing Feedback / Using cell phone while driving should be banned
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳