Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Writing task 2: using disciplinary in school to solve problems. Teachers or parents responsibility ?



KarunaTruong 3 / 5  
Jun 21, 2016   #1
In these recent years, the levels of students getting bullied increased unbelievable dramatically in compared to the previous generation. More and more modern school decide to use disciplinary to solve the problem with student's attitude. There is an ethical argument in blaming children bad behavior is teachers' responsibility or their parents' role.

Using punishments on students has always been a strict question for both education system and parents. Teachers only want the best for their students, in both knowledge and attitude. The repeated in bad behave actions is what make they get punished. However, some teachers overdo the discipline and make the students injured physically and mentally, which lead them to depression and anxiety. According to the survey on students, after being disciplined only 40% will change in a benefit way, the others will behave worse and worse, which is one of the reasons of increasing in bullying.

The teachers and parents both play an important role to help the students. Normally, students spend approximately 8 hours studying at school, because of that, teachers are the closest person to them. It cannot be denied that students can easily be affected by their tutors and teachers. If they are able to learn in a nice environment, the way they behave will different from who come from a school full of delinquents. Moreover, their parents are also an important factor for them. Instead of blaming each other for the bad behave of the students, they should help students realized what is wrong in their behavior and why they should change their attitude. This will help the pupils walk on the right path again. The relationship between students, teachers and parents have been used in a various film about education system nowadays. But the conclusion of the films is to help the students have a perfect environment for them to developed fulfill their ability.

In conclusion, I think that it is irresistible to use discipline in school, but they should use it effectively. Warning students not injuring them. Furthermore, both teachers responsibility and family's role have an important mission to help students not misleading their goal and help them figure out what is right, what is wrong.

justivy03 - / 2265  
Jun 21, 2016   #2
HI Truong, I would like to share a few insights to enhance your essay.

- bullied unbelievably increased unbelievable - dramatically in compared to
- More and more modern school
- decided to use
- disciplinary measures to solve the
- problem withon student's attitude.
- childrens bad behavior
- isas teachers'( an apostrophe is not neccesarry in the word "teachers" )
- responsibility or their parents' role.

- UsingImposing punishments
- been a strictan intriguing question
- for both the education system
- and their parents.
- The repeated inrepetition of bad
- behavebehavior
- actions is what make they gets them punished.

There you have it Troung, indeed bullying is a very serious act of negative behavior and this should be stopped as soon as the parent or the teacher see it or observe it from the kids actions.

Overall, the essay is lacking the sense of completeness, the sentences are missing vital points such as the logic of the idea and the correct format of the words you use to initiate your ideas.


Home / Writing Feedback / Writing task 2: using disciplinary in school to solve problems. Teachers or parents responsibility ?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳