Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


IELTS - using laptops and mobile phones, during lessons is a good way to encourage children to learn



Jane Wong 1 / 1  
Aug 20, 2019   #1

agree or disagree question type



Some people think using computer, including laptops and mobile phones, during lessons is a good way to encourage children to learn. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is certainly the case that gadgets like laptops, computer and mobile phones is a good way to encourage children to learn. As it is difficult for children to stay focus on what teacher said during lesson with boring teaching like copying what teacher said. Also, tradition teaching techniques cannot present 3D concept.

First, tradition teaching at school include copying what teacher wrote on blackboard and reading passage out during lessons. These methods lack of interaction which student sometime went dreaming. With the help of gadgets, learning apps made learning easier. There are apps that share teacher's powerpoint with students which students can focus on listening what teacher said instead of copying. Furthermore, online dictionary can help students understand lecture more. No need to interup teacher for asking what does this word means. These increase teacher teaching peace and help students understand lessons more, definitely encourage children to learn.

Second, Math and science subject involve in a lot of 3D idea. Measurement and landscape in math and geography is hard for student to understand with textbook. Computers and laptops can present these in 3D, which student can switch the projection in different angle for better observation. These can give children a better idea of what that is instead of just imagination only. This can increase student interest toward learning for sure.

In conclusion, convenience and better presentation are undoubtedly benefit brought by using gadgets during class and facilitate children learning. There are thoughts about social media will distract children through gadget and student are not going to focus is lessons is outdate. As technology is becoming advance, teacher can easily monitor students screen work on their computer. Laptop and computers can even block those distracting site before starting the class. These made me very super supportive toward this view.

jocelyne001 9 / 21  
Aug 20, 2019   #2
Hello

First of all, personally speaking, there are lots of basic grammar mistakes in your essay, such as As it is difficult for children to stay ... which doesn't have main verb and you should use present tense ( fact ). Actually, you have a wide range of vocabulary in technology include gadget and 3D concept, etc. However, because of the grammar mistakes in tense and in orthography ( interup interrupt ), it becomes a little difficult to understand your sentences. Maybe you should check your essay again.

Also, you are able to use lots of relative clauses, which are great, but sometimes they are too long and it seems hard to follow your idea like There are apps that share ... I think maybe in this case, which can be changed into so. Therefore, it becomes more logical and easy to read. Maybe you can check again.

Generally, your structure and ideas are very convincing.

Hope my suggestions are helpful for you
OP Jane Wong 1 / 1  
Aug 21, 2019   #3
@jocelyne001
Thanks a lot
amira11545 8 / 15  
Aug 24, 2019   #4
a lot of 3D ideas..
Your conclusion is too long, it should be as short as possible, maybe 1-2 sentences

These made me very super supportive toward this view.
This sentence is inappropriate for the IELTS test because it is not formal at all
Helen Neleh 2 / 6  
Aug 24, 2019   #5
some suggestions for you.
- ... gadgets like laptops, computers and mobile phones is a good ... >>the word "gadgets" (a plural noun) doesn't go with IS

- ... stay focus on what teacher said during lesson ... copying what teacher said>> It isn't good to repeat this phrase. I suggest it should be present tense.

- First, traditional teaching at school includes copying ... on the blackboard and reading passages out during the lessons.
- These methods lack of interactions which students sometime went dreaming ????. >> which is significant for students. sometime and sometimes are different.
- With the help of gadgets/ apps, learning become easier and more effective.
Be careful with the tenses and some structures. Try to make it understandable first.
Sorry I'm not an English native speaker, so I cannot edit whole your essay. I don't want to ruin it.
Good luck.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS - using laptops and mobile phones, during lessons is a good way to encourage children to learn
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳