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IELTS - To encourage old people using mobile phones and the internet


yirunli 7 / 17  
Jun 6, 2014   #1
Topic Mobile phones and the internet are very useful. However, it is rare for old people to use them. What ways could mobile phones and the internet be useful to old people? How does the old people to be encouraged using this new technology?

There are many great inventions of the 20th-century. Among the inventions mobile phones and the internet are widely used in our life; nevertheless, old people rarely use them because they have not realized the benefits of mobile phones and the internet.

Obviously, mobile phones and the internet could be useful to old people in various ways. To start with, both of them are convenient. For example, if old people carrying mobile phones encounter difficulties outdoors, they will call for help immediately instead of finding a booth. In addition, the internet can help old people to collect extensive information. There is no doubt that searching for news online is effective and time-saving. Furthermore, people using the internet can save their money. As is known to all, online shopping provides a platform for individuals to purchase cheaper products.

As mobile phones and the internet are helpful, it is necessary to encourage old people using them. Firstly, to help old people get familiar with the new technology, our government can offer some elementary courses about using mobile phones and the internet. Secondly, the fees of network services can be reduced for seniors so that they will be willing to use them. Last but not least, we can propagate the ideas that using mobile phones and the internet can better our life. Once old people are aware of the advantages brought by the new technologies, they will start to use mobile phones and the internet intentionally.

In conclusion, old people should not stay away from the new technologies and they should be encouraged using them.
SalMon 27 / 113 10  
Jun 6, 2014   #2
In conclusion, old people should not stay away from the new technologies and they should be encouraged using them.

Well you should, again, mention main ideas briefly: the 3 advantages when using phones and internet, how to encourage. Your conclusion seems a bit short.

As mobile phones and the internet are helpful, it is necessary to encourage old people using them. Firstly, to help old people get familiar with the new technology, our government can offer some elementary courses about using mobile phones and the internet. Secondly, the fees of network services can be reduced for seniors so that they will be willing to use them. Last but not least, we can propagate the ideas that using mobile phones and the internet can better our life. Once old people are aware of the advantages brought by the new technologies, they will start to use mobile phones and the internet intentionally.

Well, this is not any comment, just my queries about this: You know, old people often refuse to adapt phones and internet because of their old-fashioned perspectives. I'm not saying that all of them do, but if they are that adamant, then there is no use to

propagate the ideas that using mobile phones and the internet can better our life

, or at least, we should find some useful ways to convey :) I have to say that old people also turn down modernity because of their health. You know, every thing they look at seem blurred, or they might get headache, or the vibrations might annoy them... How about these?

Well, if you want to suggest sth, you may focus on at least two sides, provide examples and specific ideas then the paragraph would be very logical :) Hope this will help :)
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Jun 7, 2014   #3
Last but not least, we can propagate the ideas that using mobile phones and the internet can better our life.

small mistakes may decrease your score,,be more careful,,
can better our life it should be can make our life better , modal should be followed by verb 1


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