Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


Using mobile phone while driving should be banned



farzan23 3 / 5  
Dec 9, 2012   #1
Hello,

Ive had a essay to write or basically persuasive essay to write about using cell phone while driving. And though I wrote that and I just want to see if my essay is correct in the terms of grammar. And basically my point is to ban and illegalize using cell phones while driving.

ORIGINAL DOCUMENT ESSAY :

Link: herosh.com/download/11039016/Serich.Essay.cell.phone.using.while.drivi ng.docx.html

Here's essay:

Mobile Phone use while driving is common, but widely considered dangerous. Due to the number of accidents that are related to cell phone use while driving, some jurisdictions have made the use of a cell phone while driving illegal. I think use of cell phone while driving should be banned at any time, at any age or any circumstances.

Cell phones are also a major distraction to the driver, because it occupies one's eyes and attention which should be appointed on the road and though this causes an accident. Statistics showed that in 2009, 5,474 people were killed in the U.S. because of accidents that involved, distracted driving and another 448,000 were injured. Cell phones cause distraction and horrible accidents which even led to death.

In addition, phone use has been linked to slower reaction times. A study at the University of Utah that was published in the journal "Psychological Science" found that people who had conversations on any type of cell phone were twice as likely to hit the person in front of them, braked more slowly and accelerated more slowly after braking.

More importantly, it will put other people's life in danger .The using cell-phone while driving; grabs driver's attention then can easily lead to an accident and killing a person. Research has proven that in 2011, 28% of accidents-1.6 million crashes each year-on U.S. roadways involve texting and not paying attention to his/her driving. It is a great importance to understand that using cell-phones while driving can be a very risky business.

I know that we should not use our phone while driving but, when an emergency truly exist we should call 911 to report him or else an accident will occur. But this behavior is wrong because maybe they get into an accident. Thus, they should pull over and then make a call.

Cell phones are great devices that are useful is life but the using of cell phones while driving poses threats to the safety of drivers, their passengers and other road user. Over 50 countries have banned the use of cell phones while driving. Therefore to win the fight against the risk associated with cell phones while driving a combination of physician advocacy public education, medical community awareness, and change in legislations required to increase fines and penalties.

dumi 1 / 6795  
Dec 10, 2012   #2
Mobile Phone use while driving is common, but widely considered dangerous.

Using mobile phones while driving is common, but widely considered as dangerous.

Due to the number of accidents that are related to cell phone use while driving, some jurisdictions have made the use of a cell phone while driving illegal.

Due to increasing numbers of accidents that have been caused by using moblie phones while driving, certain jurisdictions have made this activity illegal.

I think use of cell phone while driving should be banned at any time, at any age or any circumstances.

While I am in favor of this law, I strictly believe that usage of mobile phones while driving should be completely banned under all circumstances.
OP farzan23 3 / 5  
Dec 10, 2012   #3
dumi

Thank you so much for taking your time fixing these. So there is no other mistakes in this essay? Because im looking forward to get 100%.

Again thank you.
dumi 1 / 6795  
Dec 10, 2012   #4
Because im looking forward to get 100%.

Wow.... Good Vision :D ... However, be careful about picking up sentences from other websites, because I found some when I verified your essay... you may get caught for playgarism if they run this on such software : (

That's why I gave you suggestions above : )
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Dec 10, 2012   #5
Statistics showed that in 2009, 5,474 people were killed in the U.S. because of accidents that involved, distracted driving and another 448,000 were injured.

....Good point. It catches the reader's eye.

Cell phones cause distraction and horrible accidents which even led to death.

Since you have said "cause" you will have to use the present tense.
Cell phones cause distraction and horrible accidents which even lead to death.

You have presented some very good facts that catches the reader's eye. Well done. :)
OP farzan23 3 / 5  
Dec 12, 2012   #6
Can anyone else check if there is any final errors or anything that I have to remove, that is like unnecessary?
Thank you so much for helping me really. I really don't know what to say. I really appreciate whoever made this website.


Home / Writing Feedback / Using mobile phone while driving should be banned
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳