Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


No values - Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.



mariye 1 / -  
Aug 3, 2020   #1

Youngsters do not participate in their community these times



Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It is really critical that youngsters to contribute in their society since they regard as a more energetic group of each community. Personally, I believe that young generations do not dedicate sufficient time to assist to their society. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

First of all, young people have not been taught the value of engaging in their community. To be more specific, education systems do not allocate any courses that teach students the importance of contribution in their society, or parents just encourage their children to study hard in order to be a top student; therefore, get a well-paid job after graduation.

Secondly, technology has changed peoples' life especially young adults. Technologies like computers or the Internet take away a much free time of young people, so they do not have time for other activities like taking part in their communities' issues. In other words, they spend their free time in the virtual world rather than the real world. Consequently, they are not aware of what happens in their communities. For instance, when they have spare time, they try to surf the Internet, use social media, listen to music, or play games.

In conclusion, I am of the opinion that young people these days do not participate in their community. This is due to the fact that they have not learned the values of community and how to take part in it, and because the advent of technology has altered life.

ThuyPhan 1 / 2  
Aug 4, 2020   #2
... time to helping their communities
... youngsters to contribute in their ...
... therefore, they get a well-paid ...
... that almost young people ...
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Aug 4, 2020   #3
You have to make sure that your prompt restatement is an accurate retelling of the original prompt. You do not begin the discussion in the prompt restatement as you did in this presentation. You have to be closer to the original when you discuss and offer your response. For example, you could have said:

The young adults of today are often seen as uncaring for their neighborhoods. I share this opinion for 2 reasons. First, their parents do do not teach them the importance of community engagement. Second, technology has changed the way that grownups interact with one another, eliminating the importance or real world participation. My expanded reasoning explanations follow below.

Your explanations are good, but require more substance. Avoid run-on sentences as presented in your reasoning paragraphs and conclusion. You need to explain your examples better. Don't just give an example then not explain it. You have to develop it very well for clarity and coherence. You have good ideas, but you need to develop the explanations further or at least, add more clarity to the examples given to aid in clarity and coherence.


Home / Writing Feedback / No values - Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳