There are a variety of advantages for pupils to follow the higher learning path after graduation

What are the benefits of pursuing university education?

Tertiary education is a major topic of concern in today's society. Thus, there are a variety of advantages for pupils to follow the higher learning path after graduation.

First and foremost, higher education includes colleges, universities, continuing education has provided learners with knowledge and skills needed to find work. For instance, when learners participate in university education, they will not only be equipped with theoretical knowledge, but also the internship opportunities to achieve practical skills. Actually, the employers nowadays usually seek a staff that is well-educated and promising in career prospects.

Then, university education creates an ideal environment to accumulate knowledge about different fields. These days, college's lecturers have applied effective teaching methods instead of traditional learning models. It assists learners to broaden many different types of occupations in society. This is a good time for students to experience many different positions and collect the treasurable knowledge for their work in the coming years.

To sum up, university is an opened learning environment where students are capable of learning the theoretical knowledge, practical skills and intentionally preparing materials for their career paths.

The basic question that is being asked is with regards to the benefits of a college education. There is a single question asked without establishing points of view or a question of opinion on the part of the writer. Yet, the writer was not able to create a proper restatement + opinion paragraph. He altered the prompt from simple benefits to a major concern. An opinion presentation not found in the original prompt at all. Then, he offered an opinion that did not establish the topic focus for the reasoning paragraphs. There is no actual thesis statement that responds to the question being asked. The first paragraph is inaccurate and cannot receive passing preliminary marks.

He also defines what higher education is in the first reasoning paragraph. An unnecessary presentation that is not related to the original discussion points. Rather than increasing his score, the continued alteration of the discussion will result in additional deductions. It will lower the paragraph score even though the last part of the presentation is relevant to the discussion.

The second paragraph is focused on the correct discussion points but could have been better developed and presented. The reasoning paragraphs lack in proper discussion development and relevance, leading to lower scores in the C+C section.

Based on the summary conclusion presented, it appears that the writer does not have a good understanding of how the concluding summary is to be presented. It is less than the 40 word count, 2 sentence minimum requirement. It does not refer to the original discussion points and fails to properly represent a short form of the discussion presentation.

While the writer shows potential in presenting good reasoning paragraphs. His inability to properly restate the prompt, provide a relevant thesis sentence, and accurately recap the information provided for the conclusion means that he will struggle to receive even a base passing score in an actual test. He must become more familiar with the writing standards for the IELTS test and also, work on his restatement skills.

The second paragraph is focused on the correct discussion points but could have been better developed and presented. The reasoning paragraphs lack in proper discussion development and relevance, leading to lower scores in the C+C section.

There is an absence of paraphrasing for the question prompt. That alone will make the essay unacceptable for IELTS.
Sentences like "higher education includes colleges, universities, continuing education has provided learners with knowledge and skills needed to find work." Not linked properly using the correct words. Aside from that the ideas are not relating. Each idea must be properly developed and inclusion of multiple ideas without developing them by explaining and giving relevant examples will lead to reduced scores.

College lecturers are correct, no need to include a possessive apostrophe after college.