The variety of degree and diploma's types which Australian post - school students received in 1999

Post - school qualifications

b]The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.[/b]

The bar chart gives information about the variety of degree and diploma's types which Australian post - school students of both genders received in 1999. As can be seen from the illustration, the overall percentage of men overcame that of women's.

In the skilled vocational diploma section, the portion of males bore the most striking characteristic when accounting for approximately 90% of all. On the other hand, female learners just occupied a humble proportion of about a hundredths in the same area. Follwing the same pattern, exactly 70% of postgraduate diploma receivers were men, being twice as high as the figure for woman.

In contrast, females had a tendency to outweigh the other sex in undergraduate sector, since male students made up the percentage that was only half of females' figure. Such trend also occurred for bachelor's degree as females occupied a larger portion that the others, though with a much closer gap.

• 
  Academic_IELTS_Writi.jpg
  

Tran, when you discuss essays that have specific percentage markers in the chart, as in the case of this essay, it would be best to not use estimates in your analysis presentation. When the bar falls directly upon a given digit / figure, use the actual figures at all times. That is because the analysis essay tests your ability to create specific and accurate report presentations. When you use estimates in instances when specifics are given, you misinform the reader. Remember, the reader is always assumed to not have a copy of the illustration, which is why you must relay only an accurate summary of the report, specially when it comes to the numerical data. I know that you are advised by your tutors to use "estimation" words in order to show off your English vocabulary. However, that presentation only works when there are no actual figures presented in the image aside from say, the midpoint of the percentage. Then you can imagine the percentage guide rule on the page and use "estimation" words instead.

If you want to get a good score in the C&C section of the essay, always make sure that you present complete paragraphs. Use full sentences instead of connected information presentation so that you can reach the minimum 3 sentence requirement. Your summary would have been better if you had included the types of diplomas in the list, along with the gender of the test crowd. Again, these are bits of information that help to create the outline of your discussion and show that you did a thorough analysis of the information you were presented with.

Be conscious of your spelling. One mistake (follwing - following) and your LR score will be reduced. Your comparison does not accurately outline all of the information from the graph. You took shortcuts in your report as well by not fully representing each diploma was that represented in the chart. The examiner will see that and score you on a reduced TA scale. Accuracy of information is the name of the game when it comes to the Task 1 essay. Don't forget that. The more inaccurate your information, the more incomplete the information presentation, the lesser your chance of passing the test.

@Holt
Thank you a lot! Your advice is really informative and elaborate!