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The View out my Widndow and what it means

perejdam 2 / 3  
Nov 1, 2009   #1
Thanks to all who help!

Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you.

As I meander into the kitchen I glance through a frosted window at the mountains. Billowing cumulus clouds glide over the peaks. The westward faces of the mountains are still hiding in their own shadows. Though, nature is already at work in the valley below. A fiery ray of light illuminates the ski trails. I contemplate the coming of winter and the first snow. My thoughts continue to wander for a short while, until the scent of freshly brewed coffee brings me back. I reaffirm my sense of purpose as I prepare for the upcoming day. The mountains are my teacher, my inspiration, and my training ground. Though I spend much of my time racing down mountains, the majority of my time is spent climbing up them. It is 6am and I am finishing my first lap around the field. After a quick workout and a hearty breakfast with the ski team, the school day unfolds... I start my day with a primary productivity lab in biology, work on my derivatives after lunch, and culminate with a revealing discussion about modernism. I transition into a grueling anaerobic workout that is just as much a test of will as strength. I climb up the dining hall stairs to our weekly Interact meeting with exhausted thighs. We share ideas and experiences over dinner. Afterwards, we tally an income of over $150 from Saturday's bake sale for UNICEF. Twenty minutes later, I make the familiar commute home. The day is not complete until the dishes are clean and the dogs are fed. It takes more work to hike up a mountain than to ski down. The view out my kitchen window serves as a reminder of my intentions for each day.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 3, 2009   #2
If you want to talk about meandering, use commas:

As I meander into the kitchen, I glance through a frosted window at the mountains. ----> sounds like you lived in a nice place.

This is really creative; I wonder if you live in a place where your view from the window is of a path to the street, or roads on which you travel to these things. It would be a nice effect, for the essay, if your scene outside the window included part of the road you run on or drive on. Is that the case? You could strengthen this by giving details of the scene so that the reader can have an experience, and if part of your day is in their experience, they'll be experiencing part of you in their day. Can you use details to draw them more into that window scene?

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