Both views to indicate the impact of using phones by students in school

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day

In the past, people don't have a lot of devices to use in their free time so they couldn't have any bad or good behavior to learn. But nowadays, when technology has developed in some countries, there have some effects on their life. I will discuss both views to indicate the impacts of using phones on our life.

On the one hand, when students spend much time using phones at school, they can confuse their thought in studying new lessons. Furthermore, phones can be used for bullying and can have negative effects like Facebook, Instagram, and Tiktok. This leads to the spread of rumors and misinformation and other popular potentially dangerous such as media apps can be even more of a distraction. To demonstrate, more than 12,000 students in England who are 13 to 16 years old use social media more than three times in day predicting poor mental health and well-being in teens.

On the other hand, students who are hard-working people always use phones to research the information for the next lessons or do homework. In addition, they can use phones for emergencies, and families can call for health and safety daily. For example, experts and educators that knowing how to appropriately engage with phones is now an important life skill and learning tool.

In conclusion, using phones can impact two sides negative and positive for students in school. But if students know how to use phones the right way they can development with good social skills to protect themselves at school.

It is fine that you told the reader what you will be discussing. However, you will not get any points for just repeating the discussion instructions. You have to deliver the prompt requirement that indicates you must tell the reader what your personal opinion regarding the topic is. Failure to do so will diminish your preliminary TA score.

It is the lack of reference to your personal opinion that is proving to be a problem for this presentation. You successfully discussed both points of view in the paragraphs, but you did not differentiate between the public and personal opinion. The examiner will see that and consider the essay to be under developed, depending upon whether he believes the discussion is based only on your personal opinion or, if the opinion presented is a public perception, meaning your personal opinion is the one that is missing. Either way, this will be considered an under developed essay.