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Violence and disaters images in the media, what are the causes and our solutions

vu1111 1 / -  
May 24, 2018   #1

The New Media Are Evil

Nowadays, it seems to be an increasingly widespread problem that there are so many news and images about violence and disasters in the media. I think that Internet development and media company are definitely responsible for this.

In the past, connecting to the internet was very complicated and its fee was also expensive, so people usually got to know what happened lately by reading newspaper or listening to the radio. This is no longer the case, due to the development of information technology, internet is more and more popular. In today, people can access to the internet anytime easily, followed the increasing of websites providing news around the worlds, but it also leads to the dramatical growth of bad news than ever before.

Another important factor contributing to this phenomenon is that the big aim of media companies, in order to attract more attention of people, they are willing to make the most of bad news becase people tend to read kinds news talking about crimes, earthquakes, wars than the other kinds. The more people read news, the more money these companies make.

In order to solve this problem, in other words, to reduce the news causing negative effects on readers, government should manage information on the internet, also TV, radio and newspaper strictly. More importantly, media companies should think more about the impact of negative information, it will make people always worry and scary because the feel that there are so man robbers, killers, disaters or accidents around them. Besides, the citizes should learn to think positive and do not believe immediately in news they read on the internet.

Shrimp 1 / 2 1  
May 24, 2018   #2
I dont think I am the right person to correct or give a feedback, but, anyways, with only good intentions here it comes: I believe that your resolution of the problem is a little to radical. I believe that your resolution should be more on the lines of the type of media people should consume and that they should be more selective on their content.

You were in the right track when you said:

the citizes should learn to think positive and do not believe immediately in news they read on the internet.

But try to use words like "discern" or "judge the validity of the information provided" you could also enter the subject of the fake news, and you should dig deaper in your causes. Ask questions like Why? How?

I hope I helped I little.
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,051 2730  
May 25, 2018   #3
Vu, since you did not post the complete prompt with this essay, I cannot really tell what your required discussion topic and mode of discussion is. I would however, like to point out that your discussion is confusing. Your title indicates, "media" as the source of violent images in the media. However, the focus of your essay was on the internet and how it contributes to bad news, rather than images. Which is it? News or images? Those are 2 different essay prompt topics. You actually seem to be discussing 3 separate topics in this essay, which poses a discussion and presentation problem. I cannot advise you as to how to fix that TA problem because you did not post the complete original prompt for the essay. Please remember to do next time.

Basically, this is a distracted essay in the sense that each paragraph discusses an unrelated topic presentation. This creates a C&C problem for your score. You cannot score highly in that section because your essay does not manage to present a solid discussion based on one topic. I will withhold further advising on this work because I want to give you a chance to show me that you can actually write a coherent essay. Post another essay here for review. This time, include the full original instructions so that I can properly guide your progress in terms of addressing your weak points.

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